Holiday satisfaction: Is it possible?

Tonight’s Friday Night Thought-tale came to me by way of a friend I was introduced to via shared tragedy. Anne shared today the following post: 
“ I have a 12 hr day then I'm off till nxt Saturday. One more present to buy and then I'm going to sit back... Thank God.. Enjoy my Xmas tree with some Hot Toddies! Hoping to be able to enjoy Xmas without letting the sadness of missing Ryan take over. It's way better than it used too be so I'm hoping for just that! Merry Xmas!!”

I felt my eyes well up with tears as 

I read the words. 

Just the night before, Chris and I were talking about how happy he is to see me so happy again during this holiday.  I’ve baked, made a Gingerbread house, sent Christmas cards,  been shopping for 3 months, brought out all of the decorations and even went to Christmas Karaoke at the office Holiday Party (a highlight). Yes, I thought, it’s going to be a good Christmas.  A good Christmas, but for me and those in our growing family who knew him, it will always hold a little sadness now. No matter the amount of joy I shower on my life in this season where my name is everywhere, I will always be thinking of the one thing gone away.   

Why is it that a holiday established to bring more into your life can so often only remind you of all that you cannot have?  

But inside of Anne’s wish is the key to making the holiday the best it can be regardless of what you might be missing: ‘without letting the sadness…take over’.   You can shed a tear, talk about the missing, look at the pictures of the happy and complete – but you must find the element to balance your overwhelming yearning for what or who is absent.

When Chris said I was happier this year, I told him that what I had really found was a sense of genuine satisfaction. Happy to me is not a constant, and it doesn't really have a bottom or a top.The difference is that being satisfied with life is more about meeting an expectation, being content, and being generally OK with life.  There is a standard and we can be closer or further from meeting it.  

Not settling for the lesser or resigning to loss, but putting forth the effort to find satisfaction and believing it possible. 

I could not control what happened that caused me sadness, but even if I could have, what results will never fade or change.  The only thing that I can put forth is effort toward feeling something other than empty, afraid, alone or devastated.  If I can look and say, ‘I did my best’, then I can feel satisfied that it is the best it can be for now.

It’s amazing how being satisfied can rub off on those around you.  Your loved ones start to sense that they don’t have to bend over backward to try and make up for whatever you are missing.  You can once again help them to know that they are enough, and you are happy to have them in your life.  I've come to believe that satisfaction is only as elusive as you make it.  You set the bar and enter the results.  

It’s personalized to you, and no one can create it for you.

Twain wrote, “Man cannot be comfortable without his approval.”  Only you can find your happy place. It will keep you and protect you from that which seeks to steal your joy.  
So here’s to finding satisfaction in your holiday season.  May you have the insight, energy, courage and determination to put forth the effort to find it. May you find awe in the simple, and vastness in the small, and end your year with a smile of satisfaction. We are not drinking anything fancy or complicated tonight, just enjoying the utterly satisfying Bailey’s Irish Cream on ice.  CHEERS FRIENDS!