'Timeless' doesn't mean 'unchanged': The secret to lifetime love?

This week's thought-tale had been rattling around in my head since our family Christmas a few weeks ago. That night, I had the pleasure of doing something very rare: I surprised my husband, Chris, with a gift.  We had discussed gifts this year and had agreed to take a little trip instead of buying an item. I didn't break our agreement when I went to pick up a project that he and I had been working on together for quite a long time.  
Two rings, signifying our commitment to each other, had been waiting at the jewelry store for our final approval to be completed.  Unknown to him, I had given the OK to the Jeweler and saved up in a stash fund to pay them off in time for Christmas. I could barely contain myself, and ended up telling a few of the kids about my plan.  As you can see from the picture, they are beautiful. Even more beautiful to me is what they symbolize and how my sweet husband came up with the idea to use the stone featured in the rings.

Chris, a Geologist by education, knows his rocks. When we discussed getting rings, years ago, he told me that he wanted to find a piece of Greenlandite, the oldest gemstone on the planet. Chris wanted something that defied time and had weathered many storms. <happy sigh, women love this>  It took him a few years, but he tracked it down.  Then came finding someone to cut it, and finally designing the setting.  It was a slow process, but we were not in any hurry. A lack of a symbol of commitment has never mattered much to either of us. As the age of the stone, our bond is a permanent one.  This sentiment is more than a flowery thought. We've both been to this rodeo before, and we've learned a few things in the ride. 

Being timeless doesn't mean there haven't 

been changes.  

Changes and adaptation.  Survival logic of the Darwinist, and the truth about the strength of a relationship.

My scientist husband is much better at adaptation than I am, although to look at our lives, you might not see the evidence.  While I moved 2,000 miles from the place I spent the better portion of my life at, he has lived within 30 miles of the hospital he was born in his full 52 years.  I believe this goes beyond the fact that he is a male, and I am female, as I know many adaptable women.  It is more about a buoyancy that allows one to rise above and then advance in the needed direction.  It's more than the ability to manipulate the circumstances and, therefore, the outcome.  You can do that sometimes with a brief acquaintance or situation, but a long term connection or position requires a careful and insightful response. 

We've all been told, and we've told others, "Don't believe that little voice that tells you they will change..." when someone is getting married or engaged in a commitment. But I would venture to guess that the base facts surrounding many destroyed unions are something around a change or the lack of one, that one party just can't accept any longer.  As I said to a dear one this week while listening to a complaint: "That part of him is a rock, and that rock isn't going to move.  You best learn how to polish it."

The Greenlandite has indeed changed in it's billion+ years, but not evident to most.  The best change of it's life happened when an understanding pair of hands held it.  This person understood it's limitations, it's strengths, it's needed and it's inner beauty.  This person patiently and carefully worked with the stone, not to change it, but to enhance it.  The rock became a gem that we could accept our setting.  Isn't this also what happens when we are successful in living with one person for the length of their lives?  We roll with the sharp edges.  We respond to the cracks.  We polish the cloudy.

So tonight, we are drinking to adaptation.  We are making a cocktail that is literally on fire because we've found that it takes a little heat to get through the changes.  Here's to timeless love!  CHEERS FRIENDS!
(P.S., this drink was hard!)

Flaming Dr. Pepper

3/4 of a shot glass filled with amaretto

1/4 of a shot glass filled with Bacardi 151 rum

a bottle of your favorite beer

Fill you shot glass first with the amaretto, and then with the rum.  Carefully place your shot glass in the center of a cocktail glass and fill that glass with beer just up until it hit the rim of the shot glass.  Take a lighter and light the top of the liquid inside the shot glass on fire (please be careful and do not stand directly over your flame). Let your flame burn for a couple of minutes and then blow it out and carefully drink it up.