A Joyous Perspective on Prejudice: Don't judge a candy by it's wrapper...

On this Friday Night Thought Tale Hour at the Henderson's, I find myself coming off a week of some pride squashing shocks. While I could cry out for sympathy and indignation whenever I'm challenged or judged by another person and their perspective, the reality is, it's my ego that screams the loudest. You reach the age of nearly 55, and you think you are one of those people who has learned to be open and accepting and that certainly no one would ever imagine you as anything but a kind-hearted human....You've confessed all your sins and foibles, which is what you think will help preclude any confusion over the state of your soul.  Ah. It's good to be loved and snuggled among the humans. Then WHOP! upside the head comes to a comment or accusation against your character and ouch, it hurts. As I sat there licking my wounds this week, realizing that people think I am much stronger than I am, I thought about how false your ego can be. I was reminded that all most people are allowed to see of me is what is on the outside, and the decisions they make might be far from what lies under my skin, hair, size, viewpoints and 'likes'. Those things I'll call our 'wrapper'. But case in point, how many moments of deliciousness I would have lost if I would not have tried a Baby Ruth, which is not the nicest sound to a candy bar.

Even the minors become the majors...

Even something as utterly inconsequential as this weekly blog post might lead others to jump to conclusions about my life. I include a cocktail as part of my theme because it's fun and smart (or, at least, I think I'm being clever) not because I am an alcoholic/co-dependent in denial, or in support of substance abuse. I've gone out of my way to denounce the uncontrolled use of liquor. I have personal experience with loved ones ravaged by the results of misuse of drugs and alcohol. Perhaps I somehow felt that making it a bright part of my writing would encourage a balanced perspective on its use or lack there of. But this week, I learned that there are those who refuse to read even my blog because I include alcohol, and I was lectured on the pitfalls of 'drunkenness'. I have to accept that to some, this thing I consider a minor part of my life is a major to them.  And you know what? That's okay. 

Yeah, I'm annoying and opinionated.

I really shouldn't be surprised that people make leaps and take stabs at who I am under my wrapper because I am very passionate about some of my opinions - OK - most of my opinions. I can be so annoying that I annoy myself sometimes. But truly, all I ever hope to do is to encourage others to stop and consider their motivations and never to follow the crowd just because it's popular or cool. I learned this week that there were some people who will not allow you to be apart of a category of some kind, simply because it's more comfortable to them for you to belong to a group. Maybe it just feels more organized?  It will prevent them from getting to know me better, and subsequently, I will also never actually know them. I can only try to keep my heart open and ears attentive to listen actually, and be committed to maintaining a respectful attitude. The piece that shocked me was that in addition to holding my judgment until I have a full basket of evidence, I am expected to watch what I 'like' or 'pin' or 'favorite' or '1+' in social media. There are many eyes watching, and they are forming opinions of me from these things. 

How crazy I must make some folks when they see that I am a very vocal anti-abortion female who calls herself an avid Feminist....Is that what they call a paradox? 

This isn't 1984, and I don't want to have to fear 'Big Brothers' around me.

It's not that I don't wish to have a broad range of people in my life, nor that I want my family and friends to march in goose step to my drummer, but I also refuse to live in fear of an adverse reaction to my response.  I have to accept the possibility of being incredibly misunderstood. And in my case, that will probably be often. I will give my family and friends a liberal (no pun intended) dose of benefit of the doubt. Those who care enough to learn more will challenge me, and those who only want to hurt me will do it in a way that leaves no room for discourse. 

A favorite author of mine, Pastor Chuck Swindoll wrote, "If you want to serve truly those outside your comfort zone, you must cultivate a tender heart and a tough hide." I don't wish to sacrifice the very tender heart I carry to protect a potentially wounded ego. That can only lead to bitterness and arrogance. I will continue to be the sometimes emotional mess that is a part of who I am. However, I will develop some thicker dinosaur skin to cover it all. In my case, I will choose something like this one:

.

So toast with me with whatever you want, or don't toast at all...

So tonight, we are drinking a cocktail that looks kind of weird, but it's quite tasty. We withheld our judgment and gave it a try, and you know what?  It surprised us. Here's to hoping that somehow we can all learn lessons about making assumptions based on the small sentences of a person's life, and never allowing them to become the theme of their lives. CHEERS FRIENDS!

Joy's Dinosaur Cocktail
1/2 oz of Cassis Liqueur
1/2 oz of Advocaat
1/2 oz of Midori

Carefully layer each in a shot glass, starting with the Cassis.