A joyous perspective on finishing the race: The case for slow.

This week at our Thought Tale Hour at the Henderson's, I want to tell you a little bit about a life lesson that has taken me all of my 55 years to fully understand. The opportunities certainly came early, and demonstrated themselves earnestly, but my innate desire to 'just finish!' overshadowed any lasting benefits. No matter the size, scope or type of carrot you put before me, I was the one who would lurch out of the starting blocks and attempt to get to the goal in the fastest manner possible. I cared little about the process or the average time allotted to completion. I set my own bar, and blindly took off. Motivated solely by the glory of the finish. These were the pursuits of my youth. But I'm older now, and I've learned a little about weeding through life's many races.

Motivation by finish can put you in some unfortunate races... Better to choose carefully.

There are moments throughout our lives, and they happen almost every day, where we catch a glimpse of what we are capable of, a flicker of what we are destined to be, or a hint of what we desire to become. It could be a burst of inspiration for that book we always wanted to write. Or the yearning to finally lose the extra weight. Or the feeling of dissatisfaction with our job and an urge to build something of our own.

These are important desires and they call to us all the time. Once we find our way past all of the distraction of the urgent and find a way to answer the call, so often we race off with a burst of determined energy. Full of lofty goals with sideline cheers blaring, If the race is a sprint, we just might make it. But the really giant achievements are often at the end of the most complicated of obstacle course.

So you find yourself distracted, or feeling the need to 'take a little break'....

Niko at Taekowndo

And you know the moral of the story.... A wise person wrote about it many moons ago in this story: The Hare and the Tortoise - Aesop's Fables. How many times have we all read this tale. But these important caveats are not entrenched the first time we hear them are they? I was able to catch a glimpse of this as I watched an animated version of the story recently with my 8 year old grandson. This one even took the lesson to the NEXT generation of the Tortoise and the Hare, with their offspring still trying to get the lesson right. But even with this, and a long discussion, my grandson said to me a few hours later, "Grammy, when can I be a Black Belt? Can I do it this year?".... Oh, the wind wasn't blowing hard the day this apple fell from the tree....

Slow and steady finishes the race...

In that instance of interaction with an 8 year old, a night light in my brain became a flood light. I knew that this little boy certainly has the intellectual and physical ability to make this a sprint, but there would be a real and lasting benefit in taking this slow.... Steadily attending to a goal, with consistency and care. In that moment, I realized the benefits of slow that had snuck up on me in their own sweet time. And I am most grateful. I can not only demonstrate the benefits of slow and steady, but I can encourage these young lives not to fall for the same errors I have in my life.  It's a lesson about abandoning the frantic rush towards mediocre and start the slow march towards greatness.

Let's live a life that's important, not just reactive to opportunities...

Still, we all feel rushed and excited, and in this video on demand world, I know slow has become somewhat of a nasty word. Slow doesn't have to be timid, or lazy, or less-than-smart. Slow isn't a marker for fear and procrastination, nor apathy and indecision. Let me help you retrieve the sweetness of slow, in the crock pot of thoughts to follow:

1. Slow teaches us patience.

And patience is its own gift, especially during times when things are out of our control and we have no choice but to wait it out. When we bring patience to gently moving toward a goal, we have it in reserve for when roadblocks get in the way (as they inevitably will).

2. Slow sharpens acceptance and gratitude.

When we rush headlong into what we want to achieve, we can get easily frustrated with any hurdle or slight delay. (And frustration is unlikely to get us to our goal more quickly.) We also miss the opportunity to accept and be grateful for the small steps we take, those incremental achievements, and for where we are right now, or the good and the bad of everyday life.

3. Slow allows for small mistakes.

Precious moments.

Rush at something and we run the risk of messing up astronomically. Take it slow and we get the chance to experiment with small mistakes, helping us to grow so we can hopefully avoid bigger mistakes in the future. We have to earn our lessons, and we don’t learn until we allow things to sink in.

4. Slow makes room for other awesome stuff.

When we want something fast we can become obsessed with that thing, as though the goal has taken on a thing, or some one.life of its own. While it’s great to prioritize what we really want, it doesn't make sense to create imbalance in our lives with one overwhelming obsession. You might be missing out on some thing, or some one.

5. Slow builds resilience.

The lyrics “It’s better to die on your feet than live on your knees” might ring true, but I’m betting you’d still like to be around for a long life. Slow is about building legacy, and along the way, resilience. That can only be won through endurance. Fast is great for igniting passion and showing courage, but burning out is not always better than fading away... Sorry Mr. Young. The braver and more passionate is the person who who begins the race without a clear view of the finish.

6. Slow is seasonal.

Taking things slowly recognizes that sometime we need to sit and deliberate (by a fire or by the beach). We need to wait in faith for the universe rather than selfishly expecting our own desires to take precedence.
We need to look to nature to realize that the seasons cycle at their own pace, and we should always be willing to take things slower (and faster) as required. Yes, there is a time for fast, and those who have prepared are ready for that.

Eddy always makes me slow down

Set goals, not urgency traps.

Nothing worth working for will ever seem urgent. That’s the nature of important goals. Just because they have appeared before you right now, doesn't mean they require attention right now. They instead require a sense of purpose, a clear direction, and consistency over the long haul. Urgent screams for attention. It demands thoughtless action. This is why it can end in a trap we have to escape rather than showcase.

So let's all toast to the benefits of slow tonight as we slip into our 3rd weekend of a new year. This is probably about the time you are finding yourself not that excited about that new resolution you made which felt so urgent at the end of last year. Perhaps it's time to re-purpose and refine that goal to assure it becomes a lasting fixture, well worn through whatever time we have left in this world. I've designed a cocktail called, "Slow and Steady" for the appropriate libation. Here's to seeing you reach all of your finish lines...CHEERS FRIENDS!

**Joy's Slow and Steady Cocktail

1 oz. Cold Reyka Vodka
1 oz. Sloe Gin 
1/2 oz. Peach Schnapps 
1/2 oz. Grand Marnier

1/4 oz. Green Chartreuse
Orange Bitters
Sugar

Muddle together Bitters and Sugar in a cocktail shaker. Add vodka, Sloe Gin, Schnapps and shake well until sugar is dissolved. Pour into a martini glass. Now, mix together Marnier and Chartreuse in a measuring cup. Slowly float on top of other ingredients.  Enjoy.

**Always drink responsibly. No driving.