A Joyous Perspective on Raising Whole Humans...From down the road apiece.

This week at The Friday Night Thought-tale Hour, I find myself away from our Enchanted Clover Leaf Cottage and my Chris. I'm spending a few days with my son Jeremy, his lovely wife Kim, and my two beautiful grandsons, Deo and Ravi. During the past couple of weeks, Chris and I have touched base with all of our children and grandchildren, and we have both come away feeling quite accomplished. All things considered, they are each doing very well, and pretty much what they want to be doing.


A parent's highest hope.

Kids, 2006, during a rough patch.

Perhaps because both of us feels that there were things about their childhoods we would have liked to have been different, we have held our breath at times as we watched them deal with life's roadblocks and challenges. You grit your teeth and hold your breath, silently coaxing from the outer limits of their natural and healthy boundaries. Believing they have the right stuff, knowing they are good humans, who want good things, who know what it is to be deeply loved. But they are human, and, therefore, capable of error. How will they respond when life goes upside down or there's nothing but sand in the oyster instead of a pearl?

Today, as I sat and talked with Jeremy, sharing a delicious breakfast, I was reminded of a quote that I can now fully encase within my soul: "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men" (Frederick Douglass). Jeremy recounted to me that although his father and I faced innumerable challenges during the earlier years of he and his sibling's lives, we had never taught them to feel as though we were not living a wonderful life, filled with adventure and everything that really mattered. We had built their character, brick by brick, and that foundation had been the key to helping them through the hurricanes. They became strong people, and they could repair themselves when needed. As he said this,

Little Miller kids, with 'village kids'.

everything in my soul simply smiled.  The biggest and warmest kind of smile...

So, it's time to say it again. Listen up.

You see, dear young parents, we older parents say it all them time, so much that you begin to ignore it - It's the little things. Not the sweeping decisions or demonstrative choices. The small, minute, moments in time, when you remind your offspring of what will matter, forever.

And, there's an African Proverb to remember...

I was also reminded of another significant part of the saga of parenting today: It really does take a village (an African Proverb). If you feel short handed right now, or just overwhelmed by the circumstances of your life, look to your resources right where you are. Some of the best examples of parenting in my life came to me

Gramma Mic and Grampa JB, the best extra seasoning.

through the teachings of the parents of my friends. Aunts and Uncles also brought me good wisdom and lasting character lessons in times when my parents were not able to be there for me.

I know our children have the same wonderful people in their lives, and I am eternally grateful for them. I know that my grandchildren will also have other older family friends and relatives that will provide added love and security. It doesn't give you a license to flee or fake it, but it really doesn't say that you are faltering if you season their lives with people along the path.

2008 Jeremy and Kim, our first meeting

So tonight, I will sit and soak in the time I'm sharing with two little ones, giving their parents time to make memories at a significant time in their family's history. By being here, I will make another deposit into the memory bank of my child, and his children. When time permits, I will sip a glass of a good red blend, and toast to these times of feeling accomplished, fully aware that parenting is anything but a settled science. So I will await the next challenge, and an opportunity to figure out my place in the whole lives of those I love with my whole being. CHEERS, FRIENDS!