A Joyous Perspective on Loyalty: Don't wait for it, be it.

This week at the Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Henderson's, it's time to conclude my look at 'loyalty.' In my "One Minute Of Joy"(blog) on Tuesday, I challenged you to think about how loyalty is a choice, and it can be one-sided. Tonight, I decided to share my perspective on what it means to me to be truly loyal. True blue - to the bone. After all, it is the Fourth of July weekend here in America, and we all know how loyal we American's are to our holidays.

At a very young age, we are encouraged to find our loyalty.

We salute the flag, sing the Star Spangled Banner, and put out the red, white and blue on every Patriotic holiday. That kind of loyalty is woven into our culture, even amongst the more anarchist around us. When we are introduced to the concept of being loyal to our family members (take care of your little brother...) our school (be true to your school...) and our friends (stand up for your friends...), we think we have a firm handle on just what 'loyalty' is. And we set about to demonstrate it, especially when it means it might help us a little too. 

And then, there are those times when we are the subject 

of 'dis' loyalty.

And that can hurt and confuse us when we are young. We aren't prepared for the fact that not everyone responds in kind when we are loyal. As we grow, we encounter those who are not taught about the importance of loyalty and those who may come from some brokenness. They simply don't understand what it means. There are even those who understand loyalty but are seemingly incapable of being loyal consistently. These realities can cause us to become a bit cynical as we age regarding finding loyalty. And as I considered where I am in this journey during my week, I did see a time that I stopped expecting loyalty. Too hurt and disappointed even to look for it, I was willing to settle for less. That can happen to us when we experience disloyalty on a grand scale. 

But then I met some awesome people, and they turned it around for me.

My dear husband and his family demonstrated to my children and me a loyalty and care that I had only imagined to be real. And as I grew with them and opened my heart to them, I began to believe in the possibility of finding loyalty. More than that, of really being a loyal person to everyone I encountered. The truth of this quote embodies my decision:

“Don’t wait for people to be loyal. Show them how.” 

~Unknown

That's what the Henderson clan showed me. Instead of sitting back and waiting to be treated with loyalty, I began to find ways to be an example of loyalty. This week, as I thought about ways I did this, I made a short list of what works when we are hoping to give and teach loyalty to others. Take a look:

1) Always be there, even in silence. 

2) Don’t be scared to tell each other the truth, no matter how

difficult it may be. 

3) A loyal friend is someone who always listens and is genuinely interested in the good and bad, and someone who calls or writes just to say hello. 

4) Be loyal in confidence and character, always open and inviting to share concerns, always honest even if you disagree.

5) Be who you truly are, be that vulnerable, and provide the other person space, safety and choice to do the same.

6) Be genuinely happy when they get, receive, or achieve something you truly desire. Celebrate their wins, and support their losses.

7) Loyalty forgives, but above all, respects.

8) A loyal friend always supports the person but doesn’t feel compelled to help the situation. A true friend knows how and when to say the firm, “No”, but don’t bail on them when they aren’t who you want them to be.

9) Show up! You can pretend to care, but you cannot pretend to show up. Don’t let your stuff get in the way when they need you.

As we do these things, we demonstrate the best of loyalty. And you know what? Often, it begins to rub off. And at other times, people you never considered to be amongst your loyalist friends will show you just how special they are as you see these attributes in them. That's when the magic happens. The cynical callous around your spirit starts to soften, and a little light begins to shine on your optimistic hopes for humanity.

So tonight, Chris and I will toast to true loyalty as we spend some time with a few friends who have shown us some of that true loyalty. Not only to us but many others around them. I have created a drink I call, "True Blue" for the occasion. Here's to a safe and happy long weekend, wherever you are in the world. Cheers, Friends!

Joy's True Blue Cocktail **                                          

Serves two:

4 oz of Blueberry Vodka

4 oz of Blue Curacao

2 oz of Ginger Ale

1/2 cup of frozen blueberries

Crushed ice

Blue oregano for garnish

Optional: blue sugar for rims

Fill a blender with crushed ice, and add in all ingredients except the oregano. Blend well. Fill a margarita glass rimmed with sugar if you desire. Garnish with oregano. 

**Always drink responsibly. Never drive after drinking alcohol.