A Joyous Perspective on Giving: If I could give you a gift that would last a lifetime...

This Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Henderson's is the first one of December and the beginning of the Holiday season. I started this week musing about the subject of giving, as I interacted with my growing and gregarious family. I found myself with a bit of pause when it came to jumping into the frenzy of planning and purchasing presents for my family and friends. Was it fatigue or just a sense of being at a loss for creativity? As I took some time to think through my dilemma, I started to unwrap the mystery. Even the most fabulous gift given without understanding of the person's real need is kind of like throwing spaghetti against the wall to see if it's done. Sometimes it sticks, and other times it falls. Perplexed, I started looking for wisdom from others, and I found this quote:

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is a little bit 

of your attention.” 

~Anthony J. D’Angelo

Taking the advice, I turned my focus inward for a few days. As I did this, it became evident that one of the greatest gifts I can give would be to share what I've learned during these nearly 57-years on Earth. So here it is. My Holiday gift list and wish list wrapped up in a little bit of 'joy.' 

If I could give you anything, I would give you these 

five things and hope you cherish them forever.

1. Time to learn about yourself.

I would like to give all those younger than me a piece of advice: invest in “identity capital,” something that adds value to who you are and who you want to be. One of the best gifts you can give yourself is to learn more about you.

Give yourself the permission to explore and get to know who you are. Discover what you like and don’t like. Knowing this will help you set your standards and boundaries, which are hopefully aligned with your values so that you can create the life you want.

Along the way, you might find that things change. And that’s okay. It’s natural. When it does, recognize this and be mindful in your daily actions as you adjust to the person you are becoming.

2. Peace of mind.

Another gift I would give the younger generation is this: Challenge is often temporary; nothing lasts forever. Acceptance of what is and making the most of it is a talent that most humans do not learn until their older age. Why? Because we spend so much time teaching children how to ‘get better’ vs. ‘get content.'  We can gift ourselves the permission to befriend what is, instead of what you think it should be. Often, the best thing you can do is to focus on the present and count your blessings. Hold on to what you have and be grateful for what you have escaped.

I see people, most often younger but sometimes not, stressed out about how they appear to others. They forget that most of the time people are self-absorbed, going through their things, they have little time to consider you other than for comparison's sake. What a dreaded circle.

Peace of mind happens when you are present in the moment, just doing what you can do. Sometimes it may be nothing, and it’s okay. After all, you have found a way to survive your ‘bad’ choices thus far. Go forward and trust yourself. You have proved that you are capable of more than you know.

3. Time for yourself.

We often put ourselves last on our to-do list. This happens especially with young women who then allow it to become habitual as they become older women. We seem to forget how important it is to take care of your well-being and to recharge your batteries to be ready to give to others.

I would give you the ability to find ways to nurture your body and nourish you mind. Take the rest you need and don't burn yourself out. A wiser person than I said that burnout was not giving too much, it is more just trying to give what you do not have. You are the caretaker of your body and life. No one can do this for you.

4. A chance.

I would give you the gift of following your dreams. To do what you love; do what is important for you. You have to live it yourself. Only you can take the chance.  So don’t wait until it’s too late. Find the courage and willpower to live a life true to yourself, and spend your time doing what counts for you. We spend so much time taking a chance on other people, and that’s not a bad thing, it’s just something we should do back to ourselves as well.

As Wayne Dyer famously said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

5. Forgiveness.

I would give you the ability to forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it. To stop beating yourself up for mistakes and instead, start seeing all the lessons obtained from your stupid choices.  Recognize that you did your best with what you understood back then. You are not defined by your past but what you do from here forward with what you know.

Let go of the guilt and shame, and you will give yourself the power to change your story.

I bet you have some gifts of wisdom in you to give too, don't you?

So tonight, as you wind up your week and consider your upcoming holiday preparations, why not sit down and write out a few of your best gifts. You just might find that those you love would really rather have you, your warmth and personage than anything that money could possibly buy. Chris and I will be drinking a traditional concoction I make each year called the Ornament. Those who know me understand that I can't give up the sparkly and frivolous part of the holiday season. But I can strive to find a way to make the most important parts rise to the top. Cheers, Friends.

Joy's Holiday Ornament Cocktail***

2 oz Prosecco
1 oz Goldschlagger
1 oz Midori
Cherry

In a Champagne flute, pour the Prosecco in slowly. Next add the Midori, followed by the Goldschlagger. Garnish with a cherry. 

***Always drink responsibly. Never drive after consuming alcohol.