A Joyous Perspective on Undoing: Restoring What Was Overdone.

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. A few weeks ago, I made what I considered to be a killer find at a yard sale. I discovered a sturdy wooden desk chair with caned seating. It was full of cobwebs and the tell tale signs of many attempts at 'repairs.' More than likely, the current or former owner just kept it around for sentimental value and finally decided not to relocate it to their next home. Most people would look right over it to the many other treasures that surrounded it, but the chair caught my eye. Many would see just another dust collector project that would take far more time than worth the effort, but I saw a challenge that would fill me with motivation and hope. As I have considered that chair that now sits on a bench in my garage so I can see it every time I park my car, it sparked a thought. A thought that I want to explore with you this week:

Maybe the journey isn't about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming anything that isn't you.

Many of us might have reached points in our lives when we were sort of like this old chair. Neglected, broken, tired, but mostly - overdone. Overdone in a way that means repairs were attempted and re-attempted, but the old stuff was never actually addressed before the varnish was applied. Broken pieces of the structure were corrected with putty that never really hardened, so there is lots of instability in the foundation. Still, we forge on, believing that it is good enough for our purposes, and probably better accepted than rejected. 

After all, the process of restoration isn't meant for just everything, right?

That seems to be the fatal error we often take in our thinking when it comes to our view of what's worth changing in our lives. We get lazy or maybe just tired, or perhaps settled, and we believe that just accepting the status quo is good enough. Maybe we know, as I considered when I got the chair home, that once that work is started, there is no half way done. I couldn't just take off the torn cane and replace the seat because the springs couldn't hold normal pressure. The chair would still be of no real use. Its purpose would not be found. Still, we resolve that sometimes it's better just to ignore than to address what has been covered over for so long.

Then the cracks start to open up and reveal empty spaces in need of attention.

Perhaps in the same way that old chair caught my eye, you have found your reflection of your life catching your mind's eye. It's not that you are completely dissatisfied with your view. You might even be very grateful that you have anything to view (which is the best attitude to keep). You just see that all of the layers of varnish and the gathering of rust is starting to become their own creation, and that is not the vision of what you believe is right for your life. It's a version of you, but not the real you. That creation is hidden

under a lot of stuff that needs to be addressed. 

If this is you, I get it. I'm there in the restoration process, and I still remember how it felt to arrive at the realization. I've tried to hold on to a joyous perspective about the process, and here are some take aways I've gathered along the way:

Own your vision: Don't just think about it, talk about it. What exactly are the parts you want to keep and what is it that needs to be undone. Write it down, or better yet, share it with a dear friend or two that will encourage you as you begin the tedious and sometimes painful process to follow. Just don't post it on Social Media or share it with a gazillion people. Who needs that much pressure??

Honestly assess what's possible: I will never take my chair to the Antique auction and become wealthy, but I will be able to gift it or place it in my home for proper use. If you don't know, then ask for help. Go to someone who won't just tell you what you want to hear. Remember, honesty is the fastest way to prevent a mistake from remaining a failure. Be brutal, but don't slaughter yourself into shame.

Gather your resources: What will you need to start undoing the overdoing? If you have begun this project before, you might know, but avoid whatever made you stop. You might need expert advice from someone who has made the journey and succeeded. Reach out and get what you need.

Commit to finish, but also to being patient: This can be a hard one for some. I know it is for me. Balance your desire to undo with the knowledge that you want to do it right. Just remember how terrible things look with all that rushed effort you carry around now. 

Appreciate the whole process:  Take your time with the stripping. Get all of the gunk and grime out. Some think you can just sand it off, but some things require a harsher process. You'll recognize them when you see them because they will keep reappearing on the surface no matter how hard you scrub.

Do not apply anything new until you are satisfied that you are looking at what is real: When you are making a masterpiece, it's important to let it sit and dry for awhile sometimes. Then return and consider where you are. What are the next steps? 

Are you ready to apply the protection?

That's right. You have to protect all the undoing you have done. You have to be bold about it and find what will last long beyond your memories of the work it took to get here. Trust me, you will forget, and soon you will be considering just patching up that tear versus taking the full efforts to repair it completely. This is the only way to prevent the damage from getting out of control. Again, you might need to look to a trusted friend to help with this or an expert. Someone who isn't afraid to tell you when you are starting to add on too much varnish. But remember, at the end of the day:

You are entirely up to you.

So tonight, Chris and I will be drinking something I call, "She's Come Undone." Yes, it's an ode to the old song, but also an encouragement to never be afraid of getting undone and bringing on some restorative processing. So here's to your vision for who you are, and for finding the steps to make it happen and keep it lasting. Cheers, Friends. 

Joy's She's Come Undone Cocktail***

 4 oz Rogue Gin

2 tbs caster sugar

8 cups of fresh Strawberries

2 teaspoon Cracked Pepper

2 All Good White Grapefruit Soda

A large jug or pitcher

Strawberries or Edible Flowers for Garnish

Muddle strawberries with 1 teaspoon of cracked pepper, 2 tablespoons caster sugar and Rogue Gin in a large jug, fill with ice, top up with White Grapefruit soda, stir & sprinkle the remaining cracked pepper over top of the jug. Pour over ice tall glasses and garnish. 

***Always drink responsibly.