A Joyous Perspective on Setting Goals: How about feeling good while you're getting there?

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. It occurred to me today that this Sunday, we will be about a month away from a new year and a new decade.  And again, many of us will begin to consider our "New Year's Resolutions."  I used to hate them. Did you know that 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail, and it happens in the first 30 days? That’s pretty crazy. Maybe you’re part of that statistic. Feeling eager, excited, and ready for change only to fall back into old patterns after a few weeks. Like the novice runner at the start of the race, so many of us are full of vigor and confident we can finish. But clearly, most will find a place to make a U-Turn, or just sit down and wait out the year ahead. 

I still fall into that category in some ways, but in the last few years, I've been able to make some significant strides on meeting my resolves, and there are a few common themes that seem to be a substantial portion of this fact. For instance. In previous years, my focus had been on achieving things such as exercising three times per week, eating only healthy food, and quitting bad habits. You know, concrete results. Now, my focus is on working toward my vision of the future, while growing and enjoying myself in the process.

I started following a Yoga Instructor whose slogan is "Find what

Feels good," and I could connect this mantra easily to my fitness goals. In simple terms: making sure I am happy while working toward a future I want for myself. In short, why does there always have to be a pain to have a "gain"? I'm learning that as I've started doing some new things, I'm stopping some of the old habits. I am setting myself up for success, not taking the U-Turn.

Let this be the year you set yourself up for success.

Here are 5 pointers I've found to build a foundation that will be solid in the face of February 1st. They all involve starting, not stopping. So let's get going on forward:

1. Start focusing on what you already have.
Focussing on scarcity is easy. But why turn your focus toward what you currently don’t have in your life? In this social media-dominated, hyper-commercial, and filtered society, a state of lack can often get the best of us. But the reality is, abundance isn’t something you acquire. It’s something you tune to. So, start noticing, focusing on, and genuinely appreciating what’s currently in your life. Stop wanting. Start enjoying.

2. Start living in the now.

Often, we live in the past or future tense. Usually, we’re so caught up in what took place or what might happen that we lose sight of what is happening. Start living where life takes place: here and now. Let the little things become essential to how you are building a case for the life you want to live. Stop looking at what isn't, and start looking at what is.



3. Start ignoring what others are doing.
Falling into the trap of comparison is easy. To look at others and either judge, blame, or feel sorry for ourselves. But, we don’t grow green grass by focusing on our neighbor’s garden; we do it by nurturing our own. Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes to someone’s most significant moment. Instead, choose to honor your life by creating, investing in, and caring for it. Stop looking around and start viewing inside.

4. Start being honest with yourself about your responsibility.
The only way to change something is first to acknowledge what it is. To look at the situation exactly as it is but not worse than it is. View your fears, limitations, and blockages right in the eye. What do you want to do that scares the crap out of you?

What’s working and what isn’t?  Give yourself credit for what’s working and then look at how you can change what isn’t. To recognize honestly and take full responsibility for all areas of your life (even where you feel behind, mistreated, or wronged) isn’t easy. But, it’s the only way to change them. By being honest and responsible, you bring your power back home to where it belongs: to you. Stop blaming and start accepting.

5. Start trusting yourself wholeheartedly.
Just like any other relationships, the one with yourself needs

fueling, nurturing, and taking care of. When you feel curious, intrigued, or excited about something, trust that it’s happening for a reason. When you get red flags about a person or situation, trust that it’s also happening for a reason. The more you act like you trust and believe in yourself, the more that will actualize for you. Stop doubting and start trusting your gut.

Create the life you want now.

It’s easy to postpone. To fool ourselves into thinking, “Once my situation is different, I’ll act on my dream” But to live the life you desire, you’re going to have to create it now, not sometime in the future. Conditions or timing will never be perfect. So why not ask yourself, “If I had all the love, money, time, confidence, and knowledge I desire, how would I think, act, and feel?” Step into that version of yourself. Now.

“And suddenly, you know… it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of new beginnings.” 

~Meister Eckhart

To get to where you want to be, you have to start walking in that direction. Not at a sprint pace, I said walking. Don’t overwhelm yourself by setting too lofty goals or expecting things to be perfect. (They never are). 

And mostly, remember, consistency beats 

intensity because it lasts longer.

So tonight, Chris and I will be toasting to feeling good during the ride of 2019 with a drink I call, 'Sloe Rise To The Top.' It's light and fizzy, just the way most of us hope to feel by the end of this great year. May you find your reasons to treat yourself right, and may that be the motive to your desires. Cheers, Friends.

Joy's Sloe Rise to the Top Cocktail**

3/4 oz sweet vermouth
3/4 oz dry vermouth
3/4 oz sloe gin
3/4 oz Honey Vodka
Splash of Soda Water
1 dash orange bitters
1 dash bitters
1 cherry

Shake all ingredients (except cherry) with ice and strain into a cocktail glass. Add the cherry on top and serve.

**Drink people responsibly.