A Joyous Perspective On Choosing a Path: Safe isn't always sane.

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. I talk to a lot of people every week, and sometimes, I get to listen to people who are on a precipice of a decision and are looking for advice. I never take being on the receiving end lightly. Perhaps it's because I value their trust, or because I like feeling needed. Or yet again, it could be due to my understanding of being stuck and the process of unsticking. You know, we adhere to what we think is safe and rational, and then, we find ourselves feeling more trapped than safe. 

Trapped is not safe, it's just a state of lost freedom.

I was once on a path like that. I was living my life in a way I thought was 'right' and remaining there although it neither satisfied nor led me to a fullness of service to anyone. But it was what I

knew, and there was a sense of safety in the knowing. It is a journey I've since ended and now is only a memory. When I look back on this journey, what I see is a woman who wants what’s best for herself and her family, who is following the steps that she thinks will bring her what everyone else will see as success, and I can’t say I blame her. I’m just glad she changed her mind.

I have faith now, faith that I’m following the right path for me. 

I know now that picking something because it looks good on paper is entirely not a reason to do something, even if other people tell you it is. I want everyone to know that the safe path isn’t always safe, and it isn’t still right, and that only you know what’s the next step, but only if you listen carefully. Here are some ideas for tuning in and adjusting your path so you can get it righted.

1. Listen to your gut. 
I just can’t understate the importance of this one. I’ve known for a long time that intuition causes physical responses that are a better guide than minds, but sometimes I lose track of it.
You know what I mean. You think about your current job or an idea you have to do something and your body, especially my chest, clenches into a tight ball. A message like that is the body saying loud and clear “the wrong direction.” That’s your gut feeling.

2. Stop listening to your thoughts.
Just as you want to start listening to your gut, you want to stop looking to your mind and your thoughts. I know, it seems weird, because our brains are supposed to be all rational and smart and stuff, but so much of what goes on up there is ultimately based on fear. We worry about money, we worry what our family will think, we worry about dying alone. Those concerns are just words, and if you let them lead you away from what you truly want, you’re going to be in trouble.

3. Do it a little at a time.
If you’re enmeshed in a career or relationship or financial situation that’s been going on for years and years, and you have tons of people relying on you, it probably doesn’t feel so easy to just say, “Eh, I don’t want to do this anymore.”

That’s why you do one small thing at a time. If your body is giving you ulcers because you hate your job so much, but it feels like a fluttering butterfly when you think of taking a photography class, take the photography class. Try one small thing at a time, building toward the life that you really want.

4. Never buy into the idea that the safe way is the right way.

If you find yourself thinking anything along the lines of, “Well, that’s boring, but it’s a smart career to get into” or “He’s from a good family and would be a smart choice,” STOP! Or at the very least, slow down and check to see what your body and heart are telling you. 

“Surround yourself with inspiring beings and decisions that make your heart beat a little faster.”

~me

I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll repeat it: 

This whole being a human thing is hard. 

I believe that it can be delightful and joyful and beautiful, but it takes work. We have to push against societal norms that tell us we should do things a certain way. We have to get clear on what we want and be willing to pivot when that changes. We have to be flexible; we have to be aware. My goal is to choose what feels right for me. I hope that you’ll do your best to determine what feels right for you, too, even if it’s not what other people think is safe.

So tonight, Chris and I will be sharing a drink I call, "Escape From Safety," because sometimes, you have to break away from your comfort zone to find your zone. So here's to a weekend of consideration of our path, and unclinging our fingers from the ledge that is keeping us from the next leap of faith. Cheers Friends.

Joy's Escape from Safety Cocktail

1 oz Gold Rum
1 oz Red Vermouth
1/2 oz Strawberry Liquor
4 oz of Lemoncello

Pour all ingredients into a high ball glass filled with ice. Garnish with mint.