A Joyous Perspective on Letting Go: When your grip is stopping the blood flow.

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. I am coming back from a little break where I was fortunate to enjoy some vacation out in the land of my birth - California. During my stay, I had the wonderful opportunity to interact with some of my favorite soul sisters, and our conversations are always food for my soul. This visit, I noted a theme that seemed to reappear and that has taken us all a little while to come to terms with in life: Letting go. Oh yeah, we all say that we have let things go, but do we really always follow through? Is it actually more true that we just lose interest or forget about it for a time, only to be pulled right back in when the slightest nuance of reminder drifts past our nose? Perhaps we haven't let go, but instead, pulled our grip so tightly that the incidence is frozen in time. Like having your fingers wrapped so tightly around something, that you stop the flow of life.

And when you stop the flow of something, nothing can move forward.

It's a dam in the river, a clot in the vein, a stone in the kidney - you get the picture. Many of these things, for example, can exist for a good time without notice. Sure, it might be painful, but we get used to it and believe life is just fine. But it's really not, is it? And we get glimpses of it every once in a while when there's an incident that draws our attention back to the thing, and we find ourselves face to face with the reality that we are still wrapped up in a painful situation. 

And we look to the blockage as completely in the 

control of the other person, place or thing.

It's them, her or it. Certainly, it cannot be moi? I've let that go, I've moved on, I've grown past it, I've forgiven... Why are they still so intent on refusing to let go? Can't they just grow the heck up? They never seem to be able to get past this...

Hmm. Could it be that it's you who are holding them there?

I want to be the judge and jury whenever I sense a person or thing from a past situation is coming around again to cause havoc in my

life. How dare this work so hard to trigger such pain and condemnation when I've determined to be free and lived so victoriously? But how can I issue this verdict with such clarity when I am holding on so tightly to my emotional beliefs? When I am being motivated by emotion, it's not logic or clarity that is leading me, it's my inner child. And that little girl would have squished the life out of many a small animal versus ever really letting it go.

So it's time to pull your hands around to the front where you can see them, and begin the process of unwrapping the grip.

Perhaps it just starts with acknowledging you still hurt and it really isn't over yet. Perhaps it is telling the person or thing that you realize you're not past it, and that's okay. Maybe it is telling a friend to help you be accountable to prying off your fingers and allowing the grip to loosen. 

It's not about power - it's about peace. 

It's not about being a victim - it's about freedom.

So tonight, Chris and I will be drinking something I call, "Thawed out". It's to remind us to keep our paths, our goals, and our relationships unfrozen. To keep them filled with life and vitality, even if we are not completely ready for what that might mean today. So here's to loosening your grip and finding ways to finally and truly let go. Cheers, Friends.

Joy's Thawed Out Cocktail**

2 oz of  Mulberry Gin
1 oz of Cherry Vodka
A splash of Asti Spumante
Crushed Ice

Place crushed ice in a glass and then add Gin and Vodka. Add a splash of Asti. Enjoy

**Always drink responsibly.