A Joyous Perspective on Self-Awareness: Learn. Evolve. Become.

It's Friday, so it must be time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. During my challenging week, I found many opportunities to consider my 70/30 work rule: "You must love your job at least 70% of the time. Everyone has about 30% that they just do because it's required." Some of you know how terribly hard-headed I am, and I'm not always great at admitting when I'm in over my head. On a couple of those days when I was beating myself up over not feeling on top of things, I stopped and thought...

Perhaps when you thought you weren't good enough, the truth is you were overqualified?

The next morning, I posted this as my morning thought. Several people cheered it, but a few found it confusing. So I thought tonight I would share my experiences on how this musing brought me to a new level of self-awareness. It's insight that gives me a knowledge which allows me to not be all tied up in how people feel about me. Because when you know and accept yourself - 

You can release the need to be accepted by everyone else.

So back to the meaning behind the thought. Most of us have heard the saying, "It's like trying to put a round peg in a square hole." The typical child's toy brings a visual that includes the use of a massive

object to attempt to force the wrong piece into a place we believe it should fit. Or maybe, we just decided it should fit. Whichever motivation, in each case, it's just not gonna happen. And even it if did, it's both uncomfortable for the peg and could cause the hole to crack. These facts will still not stop the ultra-determined (I can relate) from doing this time and again. Where does this need to 'make it work come hell or high water' come from? 

Maybe a need to be all things to all people, or a fear of being found out?

Both of these potential answers had their basis in some life experience when we were feeling less than up for the task at hand. And usually, it's rooted in getting some love and acceptance from a significant player in our lives who we looked to for proof that we were okay. During our formative years... All the messages that playback in our minds.

We often grow up anxious for approval, uncertain of our own worth, always feeling that there’s something fundamentally wrong with us, perhaps feeling more or less unlovable.

This week, as I again attempted to bang against my head and force myself into that damned round whole, I was back as a 10-year old Joy, seeking approval and instead nearly rolling a tractor. But this

time, it wasn't that I was underqualified to do the task. The truth was, I was overqualified. It wasn't something I should be so focused upon. Bigger fish needed frying. This wasn't even in my 30%. It was in someone else's 70%. 

So I let go and forgave myself for not knowing something that I only learned that day about me.

You know what's fantastic? Self-acceptance effects so many other areas of our lives. The more we learn to accept ourselves with all our flaws and imperfections, the more accepting and loving we become toward others. And, the more accepting and loving we become toward others, the more they will respond with warmth. 

So go ahead, learn, evolve, become.

No matter how you feel about Darwin, there really is something about evolution that leads to something better.

So tonight, Chris and I will be celebrating who we are, in our overqualified and underqualified ways. We will be drinking something I call "I'm okay, so be okay". Here's to getting to know yourself better this weekend, and taking that into all the roads that life has to offer you ahead. Cheers, Friends.

Joy's I'm okay, so be okay Cocktail**

2 oz of Whiskey

1 squeezed lemon

1 oz of Blackberry Liquor

1 oz of Blackberry Schnapps

Splash of Ginger Ale

Raspberry Cocktail Caviar for Garnish

Place all the liquors in a shaker with ice. Strain over ice and the caviar. Splash with Ginger Ale.

**Always drink responsibly.

Visuals from Jeff Haynie: More here