What you want is never what you need....

Tonight, we are restarting the Friday Night Thought Tale Hour at the Henderson's. As we do, I'm thinking of this song, "You'll find sometimes, you get what you need..." Words of Mick Jagger from my youth.  I wonder if old Mick has found with age the same truth that I've begun to embrace: 

"Want is NEVER what I need".  

It's not that my wants are always so far from my needs. They are a dressed up version - sweet version.  A want is often an important part of a goal, and goals are good motivation to keep doing things that we probably don't want to do.  But still, I wonder....How much time have I wasted in my life with angst over getting something that I believed I needed that wasn't vital?  And how many things in my life have I not held valuable just because I saw them as a boring staple that would just have to do because I couldn't get what I wanted?
I think that I am coming to some good place with combining wants and needs into satisfaction with what I have received.  I guess you could sum it up into finding that settling doesn't mean you don't have bubbles in your champagne.  

It's going for what you want, but realizing what you need, so that when you get there, you smile.

A vivid example of what I mean came to us in the form of our Eddy, who joined our family in December.  Some of you may know that before Eddy, we had a wonderful dog kid named Rocky.  Rocky was a part of our lives for nearly 16 years, and to say that she was perfect for us would be an understatement. She was as much a part of our group as anyone else.  When she died, we grieved deeply for her, and all of us missed her presence in our home and at family events.  She was beautiful, protective and well behaved.  Chris and I agreed with each other that we would not try to get another dog until we were both ready, and we both felt that we would most likely get another Sheltie, as was her breed. So, when the time came, we contacted a Sheltie rescue to find the right dog.  We didn't want a puppy, as there were just so many dogs who needed homes.  Through a crazy fluke that we couldn't resolve, we were not able to adopt through the Sheltie rescue.  This sort of caught us off guard.  We needed a dog.  We were ready for a dog.  We had raised a great dog.  

We needed a Sheltie... Or did we?  

Chris and I stopped and realized that the Sheltie part was a want, not a need.
We readjusted our efforts and looked online at the Humane Society Website.  There were several dogs, so we decided to go down and let our dog find us. But still, in the back of my mind, I had a particular idea of what kind of dog I wanted.  A furry, small dog would be nice.  Good tempered.  Great with kids.  Not hyper... Not a puppy.

Then he found us...

When we went into the area with the dogs, we could quickly see this was going to be tough.  There were so many cute dogs, and they all looked at us with longing. We tried to narrow down the candidates: Too old, too big, not good with kids, sick...  As I looked in the back, there was a curtain with a sign saying that these dogs were being separated to be reviewed.  But near the curtain, by himself, was a small black and white dog that looked like a large Chihuahua.  He was jumping up and down, barking happily, and seemed to be smiling at us.  It was like he knew us.  He seemed to fit our bill for all, but he was a puppy, but five months old, so not that young.  The tag said he was a Chihuahua mix, and since we have other Chici's in the family, this seemed alright.  We asked to see him.  The rest is history.  He found us.  He is everything Rocky was not.  He's hyper, obnoxious, doesn't travel well, doesn't like other dogs and plays favorites.  

But guess who his favorite is?  Me.

I wanted a dog to be a companion for our family, and I certainly didn't think I needed a dog.  I'm not a big pet person.  I never have been. I loved Rocky, but she grew on me, and if Chris and I were in the room, she would choose him.  But Eddy has shown me something about myself that I hadn't realized:  I like to be special to a few people, and it's nice to be special to my dog.  If I get up in the middle of the night - he comes to find me.  He sort of stumbles in wearily looks at me to see if I'm alright, getting assurance, he then returns to bed (my side) to wait for me.  When I'm home and at the computer (as now) he is laying on my feet as though guarding me and being sure, he knows when I move.  

He wasn't what I wanted, but he certainly was what I needed.  Lesson learned.

So tonight, we will toast to all of those unwanted needs that we later found were exactly what we needed.  What are yours?  A home that just didn't seem all that you wanted?  A job that seems to lack what you thought you needed?  A child who challenges you every day?  A body that doesn't line up with the magazines? Take a minute to consider that you have exactly what you need, and that exaction is really what you want.  Find your place of satisfaction for all you have received, and feel that sunshine hit your heart. As as the warmth of the vodka fills you, smile. CHEERS FRIENDS! (looks like we might have to start making three cocktails...)

I Wish I had Expensive Vodka But....

1 oz Tito's Vodka
2 oz V-8 Fruit Fusion
1/2 sour mix
1 oz carrot juice
Soda (whatever flavor you want)
Chopped ice

Place all in a shaker and pour into glasses.  Enjoy!