A letter to my son on his 29th Birthday: 7 wishes you have granted me.

My sweet son~

29 years ago I overlooked a huge moment of embarrassment and laughed you into the world – literally.  I won’t scar you with too many gory details, but I will tell you that you came into the world as I laughed out loud – a great, big loud, guffaw…. as I knew birthing you would come with a little something extra, and there was not a thing I could do about it.  I might as well laugh and help ease everyone’s surprise while we focused on this little perfect boy who didn't seem to mind the odor at all.  You appeared to be smiling more than crying, and the doctor even called you “a happy little guy”. 

You have brought me pure joy since that very first moment.  They put you in my arms, and I washed off your scalp, chuckling the entire time.  An easy, fast labor and you were not waiting for anyone to prepare.  You were to be my last birth, it had been decided.  The Doctor asked, “Are you sure this is it? “ , and I said without hesitation, “yes, this is the exclamation point.”  Watching you grow into a man, absorbing the world around you, inquisitive and delighted to learn, I’m reminded each day of the exclamation point you bring into my world.

As all mothers do, I had goals, dreams and wishes for you. I had, as you can imagine, dozens of them, but on this 29^th anniversary of that laughing moment, I want to revisit my top 7, and share with you how you have granted my wishes, and how I now hope for you to continue to develop them into lifelong habits.  Add your exclamation point to each one.

I wished for the kind heart I see in you to stay firmly in place.  Keep it, nurture it, and handle it with care.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are too sensitive. You were the first to hold your sister’s hand when she was scared, the first to run for the ice pack when someone is hurt, the first to panic when your brother’s fought because the brawling for no reason perplexed you.  You thought to tell other parents their child did well in a game.  Even when you were dealing with the trials of life, you always asked, “Mom how was YOUR day?”  I would struggle to smile without your affection and kindness.

I wished for you to be happy with who you are, for what you want, for how hard you have worked or where you are going in life. You have been given many opportunities, and some may call them ‘luck’, but you never discount the hard work and determination you need to put into making something of your life.  Continue to stand your ground, be proud of you.  Do not live to make others happy or to measure up to someone else’s expectations.  Be Marty.  This is enough.

Be a student.  Be a teacher.  I wished for you to learn at every opportunity.  You are inquisitive.  You ask, even when you are not sure if the person wants to answer.   And when you know something and know it well –  you teach others.  Do not hoard your knowledge, your gifts – share them.  There is inherent beauty in being both student and teacher.  It is a gift to learn and a privilege to teach.

I wished you wins and losses, trophies and empty shelves.  As much as I wanted to see you succeed in everything you do… as much as I believed in your gifts, I wished you challenges.  For it is within the losses, the 3rd, 4th and 5th places, and the failures that your character was built, and now, you must navigate through the continued challenges. If everything was to be easy for you, you would soon lose appreciation for the wars you win.  Continue to fight the good fight, lick your wounds, and carry on.

I wished for you to find your dreams and do them.  Your heart: follow it.  Your family: treasure them. Your friends: be loyal to them. Your fears: embrace them and allow them to make you stronger.  The money you earn: respect it. Your passion: LIVE IT. 

I wished for you to seek joy.  Every single day, I urged you to find something that makes you happy and do it.  As you get older, don't let the joy’s become too big to attain. Be it big or small – an act of kindness, listening to a song you love, calling a friend, watching a ballgame with your future children- it quite simply doesn't matter.  What matters is that you spend a portion of each day smiling and laughing.  This is how you came in to the world; it is only fitting that keep the tradition going.

I wished  you learn contentment

.   You learned that you must work, practice and strive to get somewhere, and now, know that where you are is exactly where you are supposed to be. Life changes so fast. There is nothing wrong with striving for better, but don't forget to enjoy the now. Look around be proud of your accomplishments.  Put an exclamation point on it.

And my ‘one to grow on’ - I wish to be here for each of your coming exclamation moments…. to keep you on track, even if only with my prayers. 

Thank you, sweet son, for giving me the joy of being your mom.  Cheers.