Diversity in beliefs: Appreciation vs. Fear

It's Friday, and time for another Thought tale hour here at the Henderson's.  Everywhere I looked this week, I saw headlines about more potential war, which makes my heart drop.  A frustrating aside for me is the fact that so many of the conflicts humanity is facing these days are based upon a diversity of faith.  How each worships and how they view God, or not, brings people again to an initial point of anger, boiling over to the brink of war. These conflicts are not only observed on a sovereign level, but also human to human in social media and in personal interaction.  There is no solving the dramatics of this diversity, as it has existed as long as there have been humans roaming the Earth.  But I do have some thoughts on how choosing a different perspective when we interact with someone of a different belief system can ward off the chasms that only serve to make us more divided.  The first is something we are born with...

We fear what we do not understand.
A simple statement, but potentially at the helm of many motivators for why we do what we do when we encounter someone different than us.  We might stay aloof to remain separate in our lives and activities in order to avoid them.  We use reasons like, 'they don't like me' or 'they don't want to listen' or 'they are incapable of reason'.  We do things like whisper about them, snigger at them with our compadres, or ask for prayer that they 'might find the truth'.   We can also confront them and talk at them about why they are wrong. We post snidely in social media, yell at them from a sidewalk or harshly turn them off when the voice levels get too high.  Behind the confident looking patina is really just an inability to take the time to get it.  Yes, to get to a place where even if we don't agree, we still understand why they are so adamant about their belief. Stopping to consider that perhaps somewhere between what they espouse and what we  hold dear is a place that can bring us together vs. tear us apart.  That takes a level of openness that makes us vulnerable, and that might mean....

We are afraid we might be a little or a lot wrong.
What if  our dialogue catches us  unable to continue without questioning our beliefs?  Isn't it funny how we don't fault or get concerned about making a career change, moving to a completely different environment or even changing spouses or life partners, but we freak out when someone changes their ideas about a belief system?  I have come to realize that people cling to these things (me included) like a cat to burlap. It seems we live with the determined idea that our beliefs will form our values and therefore, nearly every aspect of our lives in action and word.  And yet, certainly people of all different beliefs do all of the aforementioned things separate from what they value, driven only by the need for peace and happiness.  Our values are supported by our beliefs, but certainly, are seasoned by many other experiences in our lives.  A question or new information we learn should expand our belief, not crush it.  It's important to remember this when you are delivering a question or comment to others.  See them like a piece of pastry dough - don't over knead or they will grow even harder.  And when you are challenged and asked why, there is one very important thing to remember...

Don't just hold fast to a belief - know WHY you believe it.
I recall a game changing moment in my parenting life.  I had returned to school to get my Bachelors Degree, and I took a course in Religious Studies, thinking it would be an easy and interesting class.  It was a night course, but there were about 30% people under the age of 25, the rest being working adults like me.
The first night we met, my Prof, a Doctor of Theology asked the question, "How many of you are Christians?", and nearly all the hands in the room went up, including mine.  He then asked, "How many of you are not sure what you believe?"  and about 5 hands went up.  He pointed to a young man, probably 19 or 20, and said, "So why did you become a Christian?".  Not missing a beat, the guy said, "I was born in America..."  I chuckled, along with a few others, but he did not.  Next, he pointed to another young woman, asking the same, and she said, "I've been raised by my parents to be a Christian."  It continued, with about 3 others answering similarly.  I was shocked.  This was a college course, and these were not simple minded people.  Could they not give a lucid response to a very important question?  I went home that night resolved to talk with each of my children, and let them know this very basic thing: I do not care as much about what you believe as I care about the fact that you know why you believe it.  You must always be able to answer the 'why' with more than a platitudinous response. This is significant to our being open to those we don't understand, because we can drop our fear level a little bit.  I know why, so I'm not afraid.  I'm ready to appreciate and listen.  Because you know what?

Higher meaning is often brought to us in the ones not like us.
A sad fact of human nature is that we often suppress those that are not like us.  This is especially true when there is an attempt to find unity.  We like to stay in our communities and believe we have the best answer to all of life's questions.   We look at the ways we are different more than we see the ways we are alike, and brand those who don't agree as potentially harmful.  It takes more than slapping a 'Coexist' sticker on your car to be open to others.  It's an action that we can participate in every day, if we just take time to listen and engage.  I read this passage recently in a book called "The Dignity of Difference" by Rabbi Sacks, and it reminded me how important it is to stay alert to closed mindedness:

      "If I am right, you are wrong...teaching humanity to make space for difference.  God may at times be found in human other, the one not like us.  Biblical monotheism is not the idea that there is one God and therefore one gateway to His presence.  To the contrary, it is the idea that the the unity of God is to be found in the diversity of creation..."

So tonight, I challenge you friend to consider appreciation of what you don't understand or agree with, versus fearing it so much you want to fight or ignore it.  We will be toasting this for ourselves with a cocktail I call "Harmony in my corner".  I can't force you to try it, but I can ask you to consider it.  CHEERS FRIENDS!

Joy's Harmony in my corner Cocktail
1/2 oz of Frangelico
1/2 oz of Drambuie
1/2 oz DiSaronno
1/2 oz Cognac
1/2 oz of Pinnacle Cinnabon Vodka
a splash of Ginger Ale

Place all ingredients, one at a time, in a cocktail glass.  Add one Moonshine soaked cherry.
Sip slowly.  Harmony is not to be gulped, but savored.