Living life out of the shadow of data: Speak it, don't just tweet it.

Tonight at the Friday Night Thought-Tale hour, we are discussing how humans often have a hard time letting go of a toxic event that happened in their life.  Certainly, the very memory of the moments surrounding the thing make it tough to clear from the mind, but perhaps most of the anchor is in the words spoken. It is said that actions speak louder than words, but somehow the words have longer staying power.

Especially if they are written down.

There are perhaps no angrier or acidic words than those uttered after a relationship has come to an ugly crescendo.  The ways have been parted and a decision made to break some kind of bond, and now there is a byproduct of bitterness, hurt and confusion.  Have you had one of these in your recent past and been left with nagging memories of what was said? .  

But how do you know when it's 'Time to say your piece' and move on..?

 It does seem to me though,  that this term, 'moving on' has taken a hard left in this age of communication gone wild.  Where we once only had paper photos, a few written notes and our memories to deal with while trying to heal and resolve, we now have electronic communication strings that can only be erased on our end but will survive in 'the cloud' for who knows how long?  Not to mention the pictures that are 'posted' in social media that cannot ever completed be purged, as they've been shared, tagged and stored. Ugh.

I wonder if the past  always need to be preserved..?

 We all realize the positives of this wonderful electronic age we live in, and we play in it's field most every day.  A letter that once  took months to arrive now gets there in seconds.  A picture taken at the top of the world is shared with friends in an instant.  People we lost years ago are still talking to us in videos stored online and in text messages kept in our phones.  They keep our memories fresh and our loved ones alive in some incredible way.  Ah, but then there is the flip side.  Something dark and nasty that we are feeling for a fleeting time can be put into a text or posted for all time.  It can be recalled and re-shared over and over and over... What started as a simple gesture of 'talk to the hand' now becomes an immovable wall.  No matter how many 'I didn't mean it' messages you send, there will be that lasting evidence of 'but you said...'

Hmmm...Can the future be saved from this viral SPAM?

 I was reminded of how simple life used to be before the rise of electronic social media today during a discussion I had with my grandson on the way to school.  He was telling me about he had been very wronged by 'his former best friend', who had ran into his bike, causing him to fall off and be embarrassed.  I asked him if he thought one simple or even purposeful mistake was enough to ban a friend forever.  He gave me all kinds of reasons why this was the worst possible betrayal by his friend, and assured me he had many more friends and didn't need this one.  By the time we got to school, he was reconsidering, and I'm sure he'll be on the bike with him this afternoon when he gets out of school.  As I drove away, I realized that in a few years, he could be tweeting, texting or posting about what a creep his little friend is, and how he's glad not to have him as a friend....  Friendship lost.  Not because of the action, but the words that so easily followed....

Note to self: Teach, don't preach.

 Now before you accuse me of oversimplifying, think back to your most recent relationship incident that involved some kind of electronic communication.  Tell me it wasn't much easier to relay a harsher level of thought because you were doing it from behind the screen curtain?  And what about being on the receiving end?  You didn't just read that painful or nasty message once - you could read it over and over...  Tough to forget something so set in data....

And so, (in my best Sean Connery) here endth the lesson...

It's time to call ourselves out and be a good example to those younger.  We are humans, and we deserve human feeling, and can best be delivered in person.  Put down the phone - resist the quick message - trash the tweet - pick up a pen or get in the car.  Make the impression that can't be confused or clear up the misunderstanding.  Let's all get human and get out of the shadow of 1's and 0's....  CHEERS FRIENDS.