A Joyous Perspective on Home: It's not just where the heart is...

This week at the Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Henderson's, we've been talking about the meaning of 'Home'. We've watched some of our kids make new homes, in new places, and we are approaching the anniversary of the day that Chris and I joined forces under one roof. And as the housing changes, and our loved ones are scattered from coast to coast, we find it even more important to define and retain the importance of this term, home.

At the base, it's probably best described by Robert Frost: "Home is the place where when you go there, they always have to take you in...." But where do we go from there? Is it really just 'where the heart is'? And what does that mean?

Home isn't just where your 'stuff' is.

When I was growing up, my household was rocky. My extended family and friends knew what I was going through, and they were there for me. It was in their homes that I received the love, the support, and the sense of security that helped make me who I am today. They taught me the meaning of making a home for your family. Not by rescuing me, but by just opening the door to their homes.

It was in my teen years, when I left home on the early side, that I realized being a 'homemaker' wasn't just a term for a stay at home parent. This was a gift, and a learned skill that not everyone could master. It didn't need to be your only profession, but it did need to be practiced to be made perfect. I am immensely thankful to have learned that long before I had a family of my own.

Home has a ring to it...

When you think of the word, 'Home', what comes to mind? Here are some immediate thoughts I have:

Using my dirt at home to grow.

• People (and pets) who know you live there. There is no happier sound then the sound of my husband’s opening the door to the garage at the end of the day. And when I'm last to arrive, the head of my dog at the window and his tail wagging so hard it seems it will fly off. 
• Home is a place you can feel comfortable cooking breakfast in your pajamas.
• Home means sanctuary. A place that evokes a sigh of relief as I walk in the door. Home is my soft place to land.
• Home is where the rags of your life are turned into quilts, lemons become lemonade, and a few extra pounds are simply welcomed as “more of you to love.” (Yeah, this one is my favorite.)

The dirt is familiar, so sometimes, you get down and dirty.

Our growing family coming home.

Home is being around people who can drive you absolutely crazy one moment and make you feel like a million dollars the next. For many people, their home is part of their self-definition, which is why we do things like decorate our houses and take care of our lawns. These large patches of vegetation serve little real purpose, but they are part of a public face people put on, displaying their home as an extension of themselves.

And when the kids come back for a visit, we always say, "The kids are coming home", even though not one of them ever truly lived here in Savoy with us. It's part of parenting I think - keeping the empty nest warm, inviting and safe.

It's hardly rare, though, in our mobile modern society, to accumulate several different homes over the course of a lifetime. So how does that affect our conception of ourselves? Well, it probably depends on the people who remain there. Sometimes, they take you back to places you thought you had long left behind.

When you visit a place you used to live, these cues can cause you to revert back to the person you were when you lived there. It's not the stuff that resides there, it's the relationships. You're still your Mom's kid or your sister's big brother.

For better or worse, the place where we grew up usually retains an iconic status.

A Norman Rockwell moment in our home.

But while it's human nature to want to have a place to belong, we also want to be special, and defining yourself as someone who once lived somewhere more interesting than say, the Midwest, is one way to do that.

Where are you from?

The first thing we ask someone when we meet them, after their name, is where they are from, or the much more interestingly phrased "where's home for you?" We ask, not just to place a pushpin for them in our mental map of acquaintances, but because we recognize that the answer tells us something important about them. My answer for "where are you from?" is usually "California" , but "where's home for you?" it is always, "Savoy, Illinois, where I live with my husband".

'Home' with my Sugar.

Because, ultimately for me, Home is anywhere my husband is. Wherever we’re together, that’s my home. After 15 years, it’s still true.

If 'home is where the heart is', then by its most literal definition, my home is wherever I am. And the truth is, the location of your heart, as well as the rest of your body, does affect who you are. For me, it calls to mind yet another old saying, "Bloom where you are planted." Wherever life takes us, may that always be the outcome of our home.

So tonight, I have made a drink called 'Goin' Home' to help us toast to all the new and old homes of our family's lives. Here's to peace and love in yours, and to all those who call wherever you are 'home'.  CHEERS, FRIENDS!


Goin' Home Cocktail*

1 oz gin
1 oz peach schnapps
1/2 oz dry vermouth
1/3 oz lime juice
1 1/2 oz sparkling apple juice

Shake all ingredients (except apple juice) and strain into an old-fashioned glass half-filled with broken ice. Add apple juice, and serve. Garnish with a lime.

*Always drink responsibly. Never drive after drinking, please.