An Update on the Transition: Points I can't forget to remember...This time.

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour at the Henderson's. A few months ago, I went blog public with a transition we began making this year. As I reached another of my mile markers this week, I thought it would be a good time to put down some asphalt on this road. What I mean is, like many others, I've been down this avenue to change many times before. In fact, there are steps so deep in the well-traveled path that they have begun to resemble pot holes. It's time to not only fill them in but to also put up some road signs.

Because this time, I want it to be different. 

You see, I'm frankly getting too old for this. I'm 55, and the years I have left on this earth need to be spent forging a legacy, not spinning in circles. Know what I mean?

So here's a list, for what it's worth, of a few things I know that I can't forget to remember as I go forward in whatever time I've got left in this body. If a few of them ring true for you, then please drop me a line and let me know. It's always great to hear that something you've earned or learned can shine a little life in another life.

Joy's list of 9 for all time...

1) It really is a one day at a time deal. Have a daily axiom to remind you of this. Your personal transition slogan.
For me, it was, "I will never again weigh as much as I do today, for the rest of my

Cousin Marlene, a true Phoenix.

life." One day, it will be, "This is the size I will be for the rest of my life." The axiom will help you to choose to continue forward in your transition when choices are set before you that can call you backward. It's got to be strong, and you have to own it. Because one day, when you are comfortable and feeling quite proud of yourself, you'll decide to take a bite, a drink, a puff, a hit, a peek - a break. Never give up your slogan. Make it your new habit, starting with the first 21 days....

2)It may not be true that it takes 21 days to form a habit, but it's a good number to focus on in the beginning.
It's a small amount of time that's imaginable when you are at rock bottom in the beginning. Who can't do something for 21 days? Especially when it's not life-threatening or harmful? Chances are, when you get through that first 21 days, you'll not want to turn back. Especially if you....

Brother Mark, rebuilding with success (in Hawaii)

3) Slide into a dramatic change, don't plunge into it.
Be tough but realistic with yourself. Come up with a reasonable plan that you know will bring some desired result, then execute it. Allow some flexibility, but not very much in the first 21 day period. You might have categorical rules that give you some choice, but the categories never change. Sound vague? Well, seriously, you know it's not. You've been here before and you know the drill. Which brings me to an important foundational point....

4) You probably know most of what you need to do, but you have never been able to maintain the positive results. Think about the WHY more than that HOW.
What are some issues behind the reasons you fell back into a bad pattern before? What made you stop caring? That can be a huge thing or a minor thing, but the 'thing' has to be addressed, or you'll just be back again. Don't get lost in the applause of your new found success. Listen to the quiet voice in your soul. And,

Ava and Rick, 20 years of successful remarriage.

while we are discussing HUGE things....

5) Fatigue, aches, and injury will kill an effort to change every time. So avoid them at all costs, even though everyone else will tell you that you need to do more.
Sure, there are many things that have worked for others, and some of them require the stamina and strength of a Navy Seal. Your commitment will not be measured by what you do today, but rather, by whether you are able to still do it tomorrow. If you are worn out and too sore to move, it's highly unlikely you'll be back at it again. But once you get into a groove, and you see the evidence of the transition it's time to....

6) Know when it's time to challenge yourself just a little more.
Don't go all hog wild, but take heed when it's time to baby step into more. This will assure that you don't find some comfy plateau to vegetate out on too. It's so
easy to be fine with a leap's worth of change, but it's not what you set out to do. So push it a bit, and measure your progress with....

Kris, making 50 the new 40.

7) Established reasonable and realistic mile markers. Your mile markers need to be unchanging, and unwavering. Note that I said 'markers' not goals. You're on a road - until death do you part. There is no arrival. It's a lifestyle transition. A semi-colon moment.
It's very easy to sabotage yourself right from the start with this. I would encourage you to remember your past, and what kinds of measurements brought you a severe case of apathetic relapse. Try to avoid combining mile markers. Dates, amounts, sizes, weights - those are all great - but putting too many of them together is overwhelming for your fragile soul. And when you are in transition, you really are at one of your most vulnerable times, so lastly....

8) Take care who you share your transition with. Wait until you are in the groove, and fixed on the journey.
Your support system needs to be chosen carefully. It's a lot of pressure to make a transition, and the watching eyes can add a lot of pressure. Start with the directly impacted and involved, and add on from there as needed. Oh, and finally....

Jeff, post-retirement, changing lives with a new career.

9) You are only responsible for your transition. It's not necessary to bring the world along with you. 
Everyone has to find their own personal time to make a change. It never worked for you to be coaxed and carried, and it won't work for others.

I filled tonight's post with pictures of a few human beings who have dominated in their own semi-colon moments. They inspire me and many others. Tonight, we toast to them and to their continued journey of life after the semi-colon. I found this lovely champagne cocktail to act as our backdrop. It's called, "Apple Pie in the Sky". It makes me think of dreams, and especially the ones that we can make come true through hard work and determination. CHEERS, FRIENDS!




Joy's Apple Pie in the Sky Champagne Cocktail**

2 oz. Barefoot Bubbly Brut Cuvée
2 oz. apple pie liquor
¼ oz. honey
½ oz. cinnamon schnapps

Combine liquids in a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake and strain into a cinnamon-and-sugar-rimmed cocktail glass.

**Always drink responsibly. Never drive after drinking.