A Joyous Perspective Getting Your Calm On: Power in the quiet.

At tonight's Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Henderson's, I am concluding a week's long look at the subject of calm. As often the case, I was constantly tested in this area during my week. But gratefully, I only gathered more confidence in the thoughts and lessons I have decided to put my joyous stamp upon.

When surrounded by many emotional situations, it's a little like being thrown in the washer during the agitation cycle.

We all strive to stay above the fray of stress gatherings.

But in our effort to be supportive or perhaps to address important issues in our lives, we can find ourselves in the midst of an emotional explosion. In those times, we feel weak and out of control. Driven by feelings that we know are damaging. It 's hard, but I have found I am getting better at finding calm in these times. And the big beginning question is this:

How can I replace agitation with calmness?

So what is the secret? I believe it's tied to finding the right level of self-awareness. Yes, the right level. A centered one. Not so aware that you are self-conscious or self-centered. And not so obtuse that you don't have a care in the world. Self-awareness is not a physical muscle, but it is a mental one. It must be developed and exercised to get stronger and remain fit. The more stressful situations of life give us an opportunity to build the mental muscle of self-awareness. The more it's centered and balanced, the more powerful it will become. And you can begin to direct it toward calm. 

Here's what I mean. When you are in a situation where you feel your insides churning, become aware of your reaction to that situation. By observing what is happening in this way, you are in control. You have the power to calm the negative reaction welling up inside you. 
Centered self-awareness allows you to replace a churning reaction with a calming one. It gives you the chance to lessen the potential for negativity that can be damaging to you and those around you.

But you have to practice and learn what works.

Sometimes, it will be taking a deep breath and letting it slowly out of your nose. You might find counting to 10 works well. Putting your hand on your heart area and feeling the beat can bring calm. No matter what you choose, I find it necessary to continue eye contact with the source of your anxiety. Stay focused. When you look away, you give the power back to that person, place or thing. Keep the power centered within you.

“Calmness is the cradle of power.” 

~Josiah Gilbert Holland

In the quote above, Josiah Holland, calmness is the place from which power emerges. It may seem at times that the need to be agitated or explosive is like a storm raging inside of you. At those times, when you are able to find balanced self-awareness and choose calm, you are developing an inner strength. It's an inner power and confidence because you are in control in each situation. You haven’t let your emotions take control of you.

We live in a world where being the loudest voice in the

room is often viewed as being robust and confident. What a fallacy. Real confidence is demonstrated in the ability to handle awkward or difficult situations by reacting calmly. You exude that unique quality not many people have, of inner peace and strength. It may not be glamorous, but it is gracefully beautiful.

There is only one noun or pronoun that can bring you calm - and it's a personal one....

Many times each week, you’ll find yourself in situations where you can either forget all about self-awareness of your reaction choices or use it. The choice is only yours. You are in charge of your life and your health. The person that is standing in front of you with a demanding voice is not. No matter how confident they may appear.

And nothing but can bring you the kind of lasting calm you need when you are struggling with emotions. There is no drug, drink, food, person, place or beast that can provide powerful calm. Most of these things just make you feel a little more helpless. It's the item you are using to calm yourself that has the power, not you. 

As you find your place of power in the calm, you'll exude confidence. You’ll become a source of strength and calm for others around you. 

You make your own calm.

So tonight, we will be having a cocktail called "Simmer Down." We are not drinking it to calm ourselves, but more rather just to enjoy the time we put aside each Friday to relax together. So here's to your next moments of calm, and the power you will find in the quiet. Cheers, Friends.

Joy's Simmer Down Cocktail**

1 1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz cherry brandy
1/2 oz of Dr. McGillicuddy's Cherry
1 oz orange juice
1 dash orange bitters
Popsicle

Pour vodka, cherry brandy, orange juice and bitters into a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well, strain into a cocktail glass, and garnish with a popsicle of your choice. Cool it :)

**Always drink responsibly. Never drive after drinking alcohol.