A Joyous Perspective on Family Ties: Finders, keepers....

This week at the Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Henderson's, I am taking a final look at the subject of Family Ties. As I wrote at the beginning of the week, this is a matter which has varied and multiple sides to it. Our family, those we are genetically 'tied' to, are among the most significant of all relationships in our lives. Which is the very reason they can often bring a dramatic shift to our existence. The type of family tie I concluded to end with tonight is the very essence of the kind that can drive us to make decisions which might seem a bit crazy to those outside the gene pool. The unique attribute of these family ties is their connection. 

Connections more exceptional because we could have lost them - forever.

I refer to them as the 'finder ties'. Perhaps they have always been in your family tree, just out there, but you have never taken lots of notice of them. Or they might have been very dear to you at one point in your life, but they dropped out of sight, and therefore, out of mind. Still again, you might have not ever been fully aware they were related to you, or not confirmed, and you discover them somehow. At their foundation, they are all similar in that you had to unearth them. And then you were left with the task of deciding just what to do with them.

And it gets even crazier when the choice is fully in

your court.

Life is anything but simple for most of us. We fill it up with nuisance, noise and a lot of nonsense at times. Before we know it, there is little time left for those parts we call 'precious' to us. And family ties, even if small, are usually those counted among the treasured. These 'finder ties' could easily just continue to exist at arms length and admired from afar. Sure, you might feel a little curious, or perhaps a bit guilty, but you could also believe you are saving yourself from a lot of extra stress and grief. 

Because what they don't know can't hurt 

them or you, right?

That's the fallacy that you must avoid telling yourself. 

It may not hurt right now, today. It will be later, when life throws someone a curve ball, as it always does, and you realize what you've just struck out. And you can't go back to the top of the inning in life. We only get a limited number of those.

So tonight's joyous perspective is to see these 'finders' as 'keepers.'

Certainly, you can approach them with caution, and you should. Once the dust settles, and you see a path forward, you should let your inner excitement take over. They are your 'kin' - you share bloodlines. The slang term 'kin' comes from 'kinship'. Consanguinity. (what an excellent word!) Bring them close, and open the doors of your protected heart. These are the real legacies that we can leave behind. Rejoice in them.

Tonight, I am grateful for my 'finders/keepers'.

Yesterday, we celebrated the tenth birthday of my grandson, Nikolaus Jay Patient. Half of his genes come from my son, Seth, who we will honor this weekend during the Memorial observances. As we grow together through each year, I am often reminded of how I might have kept his existence out of my life. I gulp hard when these thoughts arise. I might have added greater tragedy to my son's loss. Instead, I celebrate a living remnant that carries forth a bit of my child and our families.

I am also grateful for the long missing cousins in my life, who share just enough genetics with me to be called 'cousins.' Through reconnecting with them, I have been able to rejuvenate a spirit within me that I once thought was lost. But through these 'finder ties', what was lost, has now been found. So cool.

So tonight, Chris and I will be enjoying a cocktail called, "Millionaire." It comes from a bar in Australia called "Finders Keepers." When we look at our found family ties, we honestly feel rich, like a million dollars. I hope you enjoy your family ties this weekend, and here's to even more that you may discover in the future. CHEERS, FRIENDS!

Finders Keepers Millionaire Cocktail**

Serves 2:
4 oz Canadian Club 12yr or Crown Royal
1 oz Cointreau
1/2 oz of Grenadine
Ice filled shaker
Lime for garnish

Put all ingredients into the ice filled shaker. "Shake with cracked ice as though 7 demons were goading you to it" (Mackall), then strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime slice.

**Always drink responsibly. Never drive after drinking alcohol.