A Joyous Perspective on Unity: You are what you practice...

This week at the Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Henderson's, we conclude a week with a focus on the term 'unity.' As I've gone through the week, looking at the different aspects of the word, in meaning and action, the currents events of my world seemed to collapse around the difficulty of seeing this happen. Everywhere I turned, people were filled with anger and disagreement, accusations flew, assumptions rose to the level of fact, and it seemed my attempts at buoyant encouragements to find unity fell flat in the realities of the division. One might say it's time to give it up. But then, I saw this quote:

“You are what you practice most.” 

~Richard Carlson

And I was reminded of a year ago when I was first

spunky Courtney Bell

annoyed by a spunky little Yogi as I strained and sweated in my attempts at "downward facing dog":

“What are you practicing? Are your intentions health and balance? Or are you practicing judgment or comparison?” 

Sure, health and balance.... Well, in reality, I was doing it because I was judging myself to be extremely overweight and out of shape. I wanted to be like the most energetic Grandmothers I observed around me. I wanted to be happy with what I saw in the mirror instead of angry. Damn. I had to admit it - I was practicing focused on judgment and comparison.  I would not conquer my health issues with this practice; I would only advance concepts that were at the core of why I returned to this place time and time again. 

Happy and healing.

So I changed the focus of my practice in the area of my health. I was practicing for healing and bringing balance into my life. And it's worked. The more I've faced down my judgment and comparison by responding with balance and setting my intentions upon healing, the better I've become. So, I wondered...

Can I transfer this philosophy to the concept of being more unified with those around me? 

“What are you practicing” is a brave question, as it often brings us face to face with the cramped emotional space we’re in. And yet, when we let ourselves ask the question and get curious about it, a crack is made for consideration to squeeze through. And when you practice giving others consideration of their feelings and opinions, you open the door for communication.

And how can we possibly be unified if we are not communicating?

The next time you catch yourself in a maelstrom of comparison, anger, self-doubt, worry, or judgment, take a breath and ask, “What am I practicing?” Be gentle but honest with what comes up - because you should know this: It’s impossible to practice love and patience all the time. We suffer, and that’s okay. It just gives us more reason to practice.

Practice taking a pause and focus on being mindful.

Choose 'no'....

Change your 'default' settings.

Our default setting is how we react to the events in our lives. When we’re bored, we find solace in our phones. When someone cuts us off on the road, we drive up next to their window to see what they look like. And for me, when I read or hear about an opinion that is diverse to mine, I feel adversity. My shoulders tense up, and I begin to think of ways to defend my beliefs.
It's me practicing a negative response. We should try and avoid a setting that has always led to more conflict, and more division. Less unity.

Our default setting is to find those we like and agree with for comfort and self-fulfillment, but we’ve all done this so many times in our lives that it’s obvious it doesn’t lead to anything which brings growth. Draw toward the different and challenging. Be uncomfortable for awhile. Question your beliefs and listen to where theirs come from. You may still walk away in disagreement, but some of the air will be released from the tense adversity. 

Because unity requires we practice giving chances. 

The idiosyncratic and often deluded belief that we are the most influential and knowledgeable person is something we have to let go.  Are there people out there I don't want to be unified with? Well of course, but I certainly cannot size that understanding up in the process of a few social media posts or verbal snippets. I need to practice giving others a chance to show me who they are, even when they have no interest in learning who I am. 

The ulterior would be to practice bigotry and phobic behavior. Which will never lead to any form of unity...

I've concluded that unity doesn't always look pretty and

shining with smooth edges. It can seem like a misshapen ball of playdough with the wrong mix of colors. But that ball is still far stronger in its unified state than it is in it's small and perfect lumps. Without a doubt, one of the things we need now in our world more than ever is for decent people to come together in strength. Because together, we can face down any evil designed to destroy.

So tonight, we will toast to unity, and the hope for more of it in our world. I am making a cocktail that brings together elements that are entirely different but delicious when mixed. Let's keep practicing friends, and focus on becoming a happier and healthier community of humans. Cheers, Friends!
(and tonight's toast is also a special recognition of celebrating the union of our son Jeremy and his lovely partner in life Kim. Congratulations on five fun-filled, fruitful and exciting years!)

Watermelon Limoncello Slushie**

4 cups of seedless watermelon, cubed
1 cup of ice
3/4 cup of limoncello
3/4 cups of Prosecco
Fresh Basil and Lemon for garnish

Freeze watermelon for a few hours, add to blender along with ice and limoncello. Add the Prosecco and blend just until combined. Pour into glasses, garnish and serve immediately.

**Always drink responsibly. Never drive after consuming alcohol.