If we only really believe we deserve it.
Our destiny should contain the very elements of what will make us immensely fulfilled and content. We should find much happiness along the path to our destiny. And obtaining it should give us something beyond happiness - closer to real joy. That should be our reality. There's just one issue we might have to overcome....
We define our reality by what we believe.
Our beliefs make us who we are and determine the choices we make. Very often, those beliefs, far from leading us to happiness, bring us lots of pain and trouble. They can even prevent us from believing we deserve happiness and finding our destiny. These beliefs are so practiced and cemented within us; we may not even be aware they exist. Like some microscopic germ that keeps us relapsing to illness. Check out this quote:
“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head,
beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it
never occurs to you to question them.”
beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it
never occurs to you to question them.”
~Anthony de Mello
So if happiness is an essential part of our destiny, then perhaps we should take a look at what beliefs about happiness make us unhappy. Beliefs that divert us from the path to our destiny by keeping us wrapped up in a conviction that we don't deserve it. I've narrowed it down to the five below. How many of them might you be carrying around in your mind?
Five beliefs about happiness that make us unhappy:
Belief 1: I need other people’s approval to be happy.
Do you often do things only to please other people? Human beings are driven by “social proof.” Approval is crucial to us. We wait for it in many areas of our lives, don't we? The glee we experience when we get it appears to be happiness - but it's short lived.
The pursuit of approval is very different from the quest for happiness.
Let’s not fail to distinguish between the two.
Separate them.
Belief 2: I will be happy when I have _______.
It might be a bigger house, promotion, a baby, awards, respect, or just stuff. There is a good reason why this belief is so strong - because it is partly true. Yes, you will feel comfortable when you get something you wanted. You will think this is on the road to your destiny. The question is: Is this happiness lasting? Each level of accomplishment will bring its set of problems. Herein lies the rollercoaster that often leaves us feeling flat.
But think about this: Why do you need to delay your happiness? You deserve it now while working toward that thing.
Smile now.
Belief 3: I can’t be happy unless everything goes right.
Is anything in life ever perfect? We have ups and downs every day. The best-laid plans and all that, right? I heard a character on a favorite show say something that stuck with me, "Perfect is the enemy of good." Yes, the pursuit of perfection can keep us from the attainment of good - and happiness. We must resist the temptation to see imperfection as a definition of missing the mark, and another reason we do not deserve to attain our destiny.
Life is imperfect. And that is often what makes it more interesting. Embrace your dents and bruises.
They prove you have indeed lived.
Belief 4: I can’t be happy because of what’s happened in the past.
The past controls us in mysterious ways. You might have lost a loved one to misunderstanding or death. You might have failed to achieve your dreams. As a result, you may have developed one of these beliefs: “I am not meant to find happiness” or “It’s not my destiny to be happy.” Personally, I have lost much in life. Some I've brought upon myself, and some I could not control. Through much of it, I have had people wonder how I could enjoy life despite such tragedies and errors. Here's my simple secret: I believe I have the right to be happy, despite my past misfortunes. My destiny cannot be found in my loss; it will be found in spite of it.
Your past doesn’t control your future unless you let it. You are not looked upon as some great martyr for carrying the weight of your sins and adversity.
The world is filled with those who have turned their lives around.
If they can be happy, why can’t you?
Belief 5: Happiness is not a habit that can be learned.
Can you learn to be happy? Like learning baseball or the guitar? Yes. Happiness is a skill - one that you build through some daily choices. When you thwart negative emotions, such as pessimism, resentment, and anger, and fostering positive feelings, such as empathy, serenity, and gratitude, the brain can be trained to become happier. Oh, and you can't maintain victim status while practicing. Unlearn 'woah is me'.
Fate did not 'do this to you.' It did not keep you from destiny.
Besides, happiness does not depend on fate; it depends on our habits.
Habits you deserve to have in your life.
Our beliefs can bring us joy or sorrow.
It's a good idea to question your beliefs about yourself, your life, and happiness from time to time. See if they still serve a definite purpose. If not, change them.
What beliefs do you think you need to change to be happier?
Tonight, I've made a drink I call "If it's in the cupboard." I went through the cabinet and created something tasty from what we had. You don't have to go out and find what you need to be happy. More than likely, it's right there in front of you, just waiting to be included in your smile. So here's to destiny, and living to deserve it. Cheers, Friends!
Joy's "If it's in the cupboard..." Cocktail**
1 oz Salted Caramel Vodka
1 oz Amaretto
1/2 oz Kaluah
1/2 oz Frangelico
1/2 oz Moonshine
Milk to fill
Salt for rim
Crushed ice
Rim a tall glass with salt. Fill with crushed ice. Add ingredients in order. Finish with milk to the top. Garnish with a cookie from the jar or a graham cracker with Nutella. Cheers. (You could also make this hot. Just steam the milk and leave out the ice)
**Always drink responsibly. Never drive after consuming alcohol.
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