More Perspectives on Joy: Can you accept this joy?

It's time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. Have you ever found yourself exactly where you always dreamt you could be in some way or shape of life? You know, one of those, "Wow, it happened. Everything I imagined is right here" moments? As I continued to think about 'joy' during this season where it is a subject divine, I wondered if there are times when we struggle with the full acceptance of all joy's inherent virtues. This musing resurfaced for me during the week as I was catching up on a new television program I'm growing to enjoy called "This is Us." There's a scene where one of the main characters (who has an issue with weight) confronts another sub-character about how fake and afraid she is. The sub-character, who happens to be English and can call up that utterly condescending accent, let's loose back on the woman. She observes that the reason she refuses to get her body size under control is that she's afraid she will still be unhappy even when she gets there. 

Because she's basically just an unhappy and fearful person.

She tells her she's afraid to be happy. Which I summarize to mean, she's afraid to accept joy. Hidden beneath her issue, obesity, she could stay victimized and all the other negatives that go with it. But once she removed it, what would she be left with to blame? She would have to then take responsibility for now being accountable for her sadness or whatever drove her to the solace of food. She would have to find joy.

And then, she would have to accept it as a part of her life.

It is so much easier at times to refuse joy than it is to bring it in as a part of your daily life. Joy is such a foundational element when it is allowed to thrive that it has a tendency to drive all of the feelings and thoughts that you may have become quite comfortable with. Things like doubt, fear, anger, resentment, depression, obsession, envy - all become subservient to this buoyant and confident presence. You begin to realize that you might have to let go of those things, and it can be a difficult moment. 

And one full of growth and advancement.

We sometimes spend much of our lives ridding ourselves of external poisons - people, situations, environments - when the worst poison of all is what we are doing to ourselves. It starts with that period of self-discovery when we can finally see the ways we've grown accustomed to self-harm and make persistent and purposeful steps toward letting them go. It becomes more than just a decision to change. It's a decision to be healed.

Healing that surrounds you with joy.

The joy that you might see and acknowledge, but still not choose to accept. Perhaps because you know that the moment you begin to fully accept and allow the joy to envelop every part of you, you are now committed to never go back. You can now never ignore that glowy thing within you, that joy. It will stubbornly and methodically take you over.

So what is keeping you from accepting a joy in your life?

Is it a habit or hurt that you feed and nourish with some ritual that has become a part of you? Is it something that has made you believe you can't live without because you will suffer and not be happy? I want to encourage you to take a few moments over this season to imagine what pure joy would feel like. Then, I want you to think of just one thing you can begin to practice daily that will demonstrate acceptance of that joy. Who knows, this time next year, you might be astounded at your progress.

So tonight, we are going to focus on the joy we share in our lives as we drink something appropriately called, "Joy to the World." Indeed a Christmas carol that talks about accepting an opportunity for pure joy, based on the actions of one lowly born human. Cheers, Friends.

Joy's "Joy to the World" Cocktail***

1 1/2 oz Anejo rum
1/2 oz bourbon whiskey
1/2 oz dark creme de cacao

In a mixing glass half-filled with ice cubes, combine all of the ingredients. Stir well, and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with something fun.

***Always drink responsibly. Never drive after consuming alcohol.