A Joyous Perspective on Winning: When it's not tolerated.

On this Friday at the Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons, we find ourselves at the appointed 'end' of a leadership cycle in the United States. A change has taken place, and it's charged with an upheaval of dramatic proportions. Influenced by a new media with mass connections and an old media which seem to thrive on chaos, there are cavernous separations among many of us here in America. For me and some of us brave enough to admit that we were voting for 'that guy,' it's been very eye-opening. As one who has strived to be tolerant, to suddenly be a target of such intolerance is mind-boggling. I decided a few months back not to play the victim, but instead, to figure out where this intolerance is coming from. Because it's got to be bigger than just politics. 

It has become personal, hasn't it?

Perhaps like me, you've felt the unexplainable ire in response to a simple statement of opinion or decision. And in those few moments to follow, you felt a crush of disappointment. Why am I being summed up by a political decision? Why am I suddenly a 'them' instead of an 'us'? Why am I on the outside when all I want to do is support a strong foundation? I dug deeper and came to a conclusion that it's all about intolerance. Here's the definition:

1: unable or unwilling to endure. 2a: unwilling to grant equal freedom of expression especially in religious matters: unwilling to grant or share social, political, or professional rights: bigoted. 

There it was. So where does that leave me/us?

Since I don't do 'victim' well, I had to come up with some ways I could accept this fact and carry it with understanding. Here are three conclusions I came to:

1. Intolerant people will make you grow.
They push you to dig deeper and consider if there is any truth to their words. "In every criticism, there is a grain of truth." (C.S. Lewis).  Find the grain, and let it grow into something good for you.

2. The intolerant secretly want to be like you.
Envy is a particular kind of cruelty serum. When a person becomes envious of another, it is always because they have admired a favorite trait in that person. It can be a pretty hard thing to want something that others have and believe that there is little chance that you can create this experience in your own reality. Stay humble and compassionate.

3. The intolerant are your success indicators.
If you’ve attracted the attention of people who take pleasure in criticizing your every move and following you closely, the chances are that you are shining and your message is resonating. Individuals who have it in them to try to knock you off your high horse are telling you something on the soul level: You are for real. 
You can take it.

So how do we deal with the intolerance? 

It’s all fun and games when we talk or tweet about it, but how do we actually begin to overcome when the intolerance rears its head? I think it helps to start with these actions:



Free yourself of judgment.

Relinquish the desire to form an opinion about what these people are saying or doing. Attempt to see their actions as neither good nor bad, just background chatter of their internal struggle that has little to do with you and everything to do with them. Try not to take their criticisms personally.

Lead with compassion.

Understand that because of their intolerance they have a lot of internal work to do to become a whole person. See that they may potentially be in the midst of their own suffering, which is spawning their criticism. Realize that their intolerance probably affects their relationships and their ability to transform and receive true inner wisdom.

That's gotta be hard... You know. You've been there, right?

Keep your eyes on the road.

You’ve been put on the planet for an important reason. You’ve

gotten as far as you have by focusing on what you need to do. 
Don’t look to the left. Don’t look to the right. Just stay grounded on your path and be sure you maintain a firm understanding of why ou believe what you believe. Dr. Seuss said it best, "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" 

Forgive.

Forgive these people for raining on your parade and forgive yourself for forgetting your umbrella.

It’s okay to emote and react sometimes. You’re human. Cut yourself some slack. And if you’re really grown up, try to cut these intolerant souls some slack as well. We were not all created with the same level of pain tolerance, emotional endurance, and maturity level.

The most important thing to remember is: 

All of this is just part of the journey of discovering yourself. Painful or joyful, it's up to you to let it play a role in your growth.

So tonight, Chis and I will be celebrating an end and a beginning with a group of people who share our opinions - at least in this arena. I'm not making a particular cocktail because today is about freedom of choice. We are going to enjoy the winning, and share in the hope that it just might turn out alright. But the best thing is, we can tolerate whatever happens because we believe in the system that, despite disagreement, protects the untolerated. Cheers, Friends.