A Joyous Perspective On Moving Forward: It's time to get out of your way (cont.)

(This is a replay of a blog I wrote a few years ago, but it's so appropriate for recent events in my life and those of many of my closest co-workers. I hope you will enjoy!) It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. On Monday, I began my week with a thought about how many times the only thing standing in our ways is - drum roll - US! On Wednesday, I expanded that thought into a One Minute of Joy blog discussing how to begin the process of getting out of your own way. (read it here). So tonight, I decided to share the balance of the thought here in our Thought Tale. It begins with a decision to figure out how you got in your way and starts with action.

What does getting out of your own way look like?

Getting out of the way looks like this:

Ask yourself, “In this moment, what do I really want to feel?”
The answer connects you with your real intention to be happy, peaceful, and transparent. Already, you are halfway to being free.
Notice the thoughts and feelings that grab your attention.
See how you get in the way of happiness. Do you live in a belief that you are inadequate? Do you tell yourself you are a victim of your past? Do you define yourself by sadness or fear? This is why you suffer. 

Next, make friends with your experience. 

Befriend your experience by noting what is present, but know that it doesn’t have to control you. Don’t hold onto your stressful stories. Let them go. Instead, realize that experience is the space that remains when you are no longer hooked by thoughts and feelings. There is no need to change your thoughts or get rid of any emotions to get out of the way. Just become aware of your inner experience. Thoughts and feelings are external. Realize how defining yourself by those constrain you.
Notice that you can make a choice to live entirely now, beyond any self-imposed boundaries, with a clear mind and open heart.

This act is the effortless, practical way to happiness available in each moment.

Here's an example of how to do this with daily emotional challenges:

Let's take worry as an example. I used to worry about everything; I was full of “what if’s”—what if my plans didn’t pan out, what if I made the wrong decision, what if I didn’t fit in, what if I couldn’t cope. It was endless.

I remember worrying years ago about whether or not I should attend a work-related social function. By that time, I knew that I could actually get out of the way, so I stopped and felt a moment of gratitude - this was my golden opportunity for freedom. I tapped into what I really wanted, which was to be peaceful, present, and transparent.

Rather than being consumed by worry, I choose to be curious instead.

I noticed that my attention was wholly taken up by negative projections about what might happen in the future. What if I don’t know anyone? What if I feel uneasy there? What if it’s a waste of time?
Bringing attention to my feelings, I realized I was locked up in fear, with tension everywhere in my body. It was a light bulb moment when I saw how powerful these feelings were, even though they hadn’t been conscious to me before. As I noticed these anxious thoughts and feelings, I took a breath. I shifted my attention away from them and returned to just being present and aware. There was an immediate sense of relief.

It took some time, but as I became more aware whenever worry started to grip, I began to see the opening of possibility. Instead of needing to figure everything out, I could relax and trust. Instead of being limited by fear, there was space for wonder, creativity, appreciation, and ease of living.

Things didn't change overnight, but with care and diligence to worrying, and every other confused habit, it became apparent that they were not serving happiness. 

Suffering was the tap on the shoulder that brought 

me back to peace.

Habits, like worrying, are there because we think they help protect us and make us happy. When we fully allow ourselves to see how they make us suffer, we are not as comfortable with holding onto them and keeping them safe. 

When you get out of the way, you stop resisting life. 

The focus shifts from what you don’t have to what is here and available. No longer doubting everything, you receive what life offers you. And rather than living in the mind-created past or future, you are open to the simplicity of this now moment.
Unclouded by mental noise, you become crystal clear about what to do next. You tell the truth about what is and isn't working. And you take practical steps to begin truly living. You become self-aware, not self-focused. 

 When you get out of the way, your life will shine…endlessly.

So tonight, I am making a nice, warm, relaxing toddy with ingredients I found in the cupboard. Sometimes I stress too much over what to make to go along with my Thought Tale, and that can get in the way of truly enjoying the experience. I am calling it "Outta My Way." So here is to your brand new intention to begin to find all the habits, self-imposed emotions, and thoughts that you have put into your way, and finding ways to drag them into the light and let them change into something better. Cheers, Friends. 

Joy's Get Outta My Way Cocktail***

1 oz of Nutty Rum

1oz of Vanilla Brandy

1 oz of Amaretto

2 oz of Frothed Milk

Pour alcohol into a mug and heat to desired temp. Froth milk and pour on top. Sprinkle with Pumpkin Spice. 

***Always drink responsibly.