A Joyous Perspective on Comebacks: When you're open to rising,

This week at the Friday night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons,  we are discussing comebacks.  Everybody loves a comeback. It's our chance to root for the underdog and to restore our hope in second chances.  Being down a few points and going on to win is nice, but what really gets us excited is when we see someone dramatically rise from the ashes and go on to some kind of victory.  I mean real ashes – the type that appears to lack hope.  Rising from the ashes like the legendary Phoenix. What does it mean to be in ashes?  Not just on top of them, but a part of them? Soul and continence burned beyond recognition…. Just dark grey flakes that crumble into heavy soot when disturbed.  Hopeless, helpless, and hapless, the dreaded three H's.  What can possibly come of this pile that still maintains the ingredients of life, but lacks the will to stir?  Have you been there in your life?  Do you know what it means to be in this place?  Have you had your Phoenix moments or cheered someone on who has?

Are you open to being told you need to rise?

My thoughts are not in the process of becoming more like ash, but more on those moments surrounding the process of deciding to go all Phoenix on people and rise up again. That's the 'comeback decision.'  This is well before the potentially impossible actions

that it might take to get out of the ashes.  Those are somewhat more critical processes that are not always under our control.  As the legend of the Phoenix points out, the bird burns up without a future commitment to ever reappear.  In fact, there might be more than one pile of ashes out there that holds a Phoenix which just decided to stay put.  People walk by the pile and perhaps shake their heads.  Such a shame, they could do so much more, but then that thing happened to them, or they made that wrong choice, or they got ensnared in that terrible habit, or they just can't get it together… 

The Phoenix hears the voices from the pile, and they wrestle with the facts. 

That thought process before the comeback decision is nothing short of personal war and struggle.  The decision can also have a significant impact on others who are hoping and cheering for the comeback.  It can even cause them to consider crashing and burning too. But not even the pain brought on others can be enough to sway the Phoenix firmly ensconced in their ashes to make that comeback decision, especially if there is a risk they might not ever shine to the same former glory.  They think it might be best to just never have tried then to try and fail. It's comfortable in the ashes.  Platitudes won't work for them.  

The decision has to come from within the ashes. 

What is the key to the tipping point of the comeback decision? 

What makes a Phoenix wake up one day and just say, "It's time…"?  It seems to me it has a great deal to do with putting aside thoughts of a glorious comeback and just being okay with a merciful slide out of the ash pile. It's accepting that those who really are rooting for your reappearance just want you to be back, not necessarily with high shiny strength, but just be back.  The comeback decision takes more mercy than it does ambition. 




Mercy that gives yourself permission to forgive and move ahead. 
Mercy that accepts change.  
Mercy which recognizes weakness and asks for help.  
Mercy that says, 'Rise, even if you don't shine…Just rise.'.

I'm thinking of a few dear ones who I admire for their decision to hold on to mercy and rise. I'm marveling at those I know who could comfortably and acceptably stay in their ashes but instead have made the decision to rise from them.  You may not think you are shiny, but to me, you always will be glorious examples of courage.  A Phoenix amongst mere mortals. 

That kind of mercy allows you to hear the directions to the way back.

So tonight, we are drinking a Pinot Noir called "Gandalf". It was created in honor of the old wise Wizard himself from The Lord of the Rings. It's my Grandson Deo's birthday, and I was thinking of him when I chose it for tonight. But I also found it fitting when you consider the legend of Gandalf and how he encouraged the most downtrodden to continue to rise and become who they were destined to become.  
CHEERS FRIENDS!

**Always drink responsibly