A Joyous Perspective on Valentine's Day: Love is better when stirred, not shaken.

On this Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Henderson's, there's a lot to be celebrating. It's a long weekend for some of us, thanks to President's day. Chris reminds me that Darwin's birthday was this week. Our dear son Jeremy has a birthday tomorrow, 37 (it's crazy when your kids land on ages you can recall being as though it was yesterday) Oh, and tonight, there's that famed day of celebrating romance and love....I'm kind of a sucker for that stuff. I'm a big fan of love, and I've thought a lot about it in my life. All the many kinds of it and how it impacts us. So I decided to dedicate tonight's Thought Tale to my perspective on the finer points of making it last.

(My dear husband is fond of reminding me that Valentine's Day is a 'made up' holiday, and the greeting card industry was behind the whole thing. I know he's right, but it still is nice to have yet another excuse to celebrate love, and all the joy's it can bring.)

Be Mine?

It has had it's up's and down's for many of us, but a strong emotion like love should be a little unpredictable.  That's what makes it so exciting.  It's a bit weird that we American's start our youngsters out in pre-school with the practice of bringing Valentine Cards for the whole class, all of which proclaim something about being "mine." That proclamation of possession seems to go contrary to the real meaning of love that we read about in the Good Book: "Love does not demand its way..."  

Perhaps I've just stumbled upon a real source of trouble in our culture and the way we form loving relationships.  We don't take people hostage in love, we join with them, each remaining unique in the blending. 

Change? Who? Me?

And yet, how often do we hear the word "change" in connection with a failed relationship? Isn't love more about adjusting than about changing? The desire to make another person happy does not seem to outweigh many types of personality quirks. There hasn't been a trick of passion invented that will make a human put aside a conviction they choose to hang on tightly to. 

Yes, you might say that adapting to each other is the Darwinism of a good marriage.

There are times when an effective recourse has to take place for love to survive. The development of something that will mean the end of an essential tenet of trust or security will require action. But the work will not be to change, but more to just stop. I'm more of the opinion that there are decisions people sometimes make that need to be ceased, not merely changed. 

True love doesn't shake us together; it stirs us as it blends us together.

Humans have to be open to each other to find that particular kind of unity we call romantic, lasting love. And while passion can cause us to feel shaken up, it doesn't guarantee that layers of difference won't form again. But when we allow ourselves to be stirred, gently and over time, then we begin to see a real blending of the best of ourselves together. Has my love for Chris changed me?  Oh my, yes.  And I think I've changed him (just a little) too.  But we remain loyal to our fundamental beliefs and personages. 

And that is worth toasting. 

So tonight, let's celebrate blending, not breaking.

Yeilding, not crushing. 

I found this nice little cocktail that uses red roses, so it's very Valentine's Day, and unique. Who says a made-up holiday can't take on an authentic meaning? Evolution can be useful after all... CHEERS, FRIENDS!

Roses are Red Mojito**

6 Red Rose Petals
2 Teaspoons Simple Sugar
1/2 Lime
1/2 ounce of Orange Blossom Water (Asian Food Store)
1/2 ounce of Chambord
1 1/2 ounces Blue Agave Tequila
Soda Water

In a tall glass, muddle the rose petals with the sugar and lime. Add ice, and then pour in the orange blossom water and Chambord. Stir gently. Now add the tequila, stir gently again. Then quietly fill the glass with the soda water. Garnish with another petal. 

**Warning, this drink goes down smooth, but it's got a very high alcohol content. 
Always drink responsibly.