A Joyous Perspective on Alignment: When you're out of balance

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. Today is June, and for me, it finds me in a state that I've come to recognize over the past few years. You see, April and May are filled with some significantly emotional remembrances which have a way of chipping away at my ability to balance. The ebbs and flows can be very wild and pretty exhausting at times. When I see June coming, I have a little shake in the pit of my stomach. Did I do myself and my family justice during this time? Am I going to be stronger next year? Will this always be the same until the day I die?

It's kind of like when you hit a big pothole with your car and you wonder if you just knocked out your alignment.

You might test it out by taking your hands off the wheel to see if the car goes off to one side or stays straight. I'm one of those testers, and I'm learning that my method is to put my foot down on the gas even harder - somehow thinking that hustling, even more, will bring me back to alignment. This week, I tried that again and found myself swerving and sliding along the edge of the road. By Thursday, I was one big old out of balance mess. Exhausted, anxious, sore. It was near the close of the day that I realized I had been grinding my gears, literally taking no time to ease off the clutch after a long two months.

It was time to embrace the concept of alignment - to get my balance back.

So I took today to restore, to rest, and to recover. And of course, to reflect. This blog is part of the reflective portion of my

realignment. It has been for me for six years now. I put together a few ways to find your alignment when you might be out of balance. And it all starts with taking time to get quiet and consider:

What really matters in life is rarely on your daily 'to-do' list...

1. So let's start with a values inventory.

Sit down, grab a pen and a piece of paper, and list all of the values that are important to you. Put them in order of importance. Decide to make them a part of your daily 'to-do'. But this will mean getting realigned, so...

2. Look at your life domains and identify the imbalances present in each area.

When I speak about life domains, I’m talking about self, career, relationships, and community.

Self: This domain includes you, your time, your interests, and your self-care.

Career: This domain speaks to your current job and your employer.

Relationships: This domain speaks to your loved ones, both friends and family.

Community: This domain speaks to your participation in your local community (volunteer work, belonging to a religious or spiritual institution, coaching your child’s little league team, etc.)

RESIST the urge to go overboard and get into hustle mode. Alignment doesn't happen with the jerk of a wrench, but with the slow steady push and pulls of a lever. Start small. Forget about going big. Be a turtle.

3. Create a forced activity that won’t allow you to work, strive or stress.

Make yourself go somewhere regularly that has nothing to do with work, exercise or exertion. What is regularly? For me, it's once a week. Perhaps it's a garden or a temple. Clear your mind, breathe, eat some chocolate - whatever calms you and frees you from being obligated to anything but finding your balance. Face the difficult thoughts. Determine which ones are true and which ones are just your fears making you dance for them.

Your mind is like water: When it becomes calm, everything becomes clear.

So tonight, I'm going to enjoy my new alignment with a drink I call "Balanced and Bold". I've always found that I'm at my best when I'm at my most balanced - not all in, not all out, just giving the right amount of energy to what really matters. So here's to getting realigned, and being stronger for the next pothole. Cheers, friends.

Joy's Balanced and Bold Cocktail**

1 oz Tito's Vodka

1 oz Tin Cup Whiskey

1/2 oz Godiva Chocolate Liquor

1/2 oz Chocolate Peppermint Vodka

1/2 oz Trader Vics Chocolate Liquor

Splash of Bailey's Almond Milk Liquor

Place all liquors except Bailey's in a shaker with ice. Strain into a martini glass filled with ice. Splash Bailey's over the top. 

**Always drink responsibly.