A Joyous Perspective on Spreading Calm: In a world of judgement.

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. I was impressed by a statement I read this week on social media posted by one of my loved ones. They tell a story of a young woman being judged for her behavior harshly by a co-worker. The loved one, recognizing the person, simply stated, "I know her. She's a good person. I grew up with her." She may not have agreed with her momentary lapse of civility, but she still was willing to vouch for her - because she knew better. It got me thinking about how divided our world has become over very momentary parts of our lives. Elements that don't add up to who we really are, but still, we fall victim to judging others or being judged due to these. And in all of it, there is an immense sense of chaos that seems to surround us in our workplaces, our sanctuaries, and even our homes.

But the truth is, judging others doesn't define them, it describes who we are...

What if, like my love one above, we made a pact with ourselves to see others as those we 'knew' to be innately good versus some outsider sent to disrupt our lives? What if we stopped and remembered that not everyone woke up that morning with all of the goodness we might have had surrounding them? What if we chose to 'know' that like us, they too are human? But mostly,

What if we stopped believing that our differences make us superior or inferior to one another?

I know. It can sometimes take incredible fortitude (from the deepest parts of our intestines even) to avoid allowing another person's angst to drive you into emotional negativity. But could it

help if we remembered that the waves of lousy energy we swallow will infect us like a disease? And then, we spread that bug like wildfire, especially in our age of instant, and sometimes thoughtless, communication. The craziest part of all is how quickly we believe ourselves and our judgments. Although these thoughts are notoriously proven to be inaccurate. 

So how about instead of spreading anxiety, we consider spreading a little calm?

Calm is just as contagious as anxiety, although the infectiousness of it is harder to activate. People seem to almost be hungry for anxiety, and resistant to calm. This requires us to become one of those "Patient Zero" types that carry the calm inside,  remaining part of the viral infection of calmness in your world. It's a daily decision, isn't it? A moment by moment breathe in breathe out sort of practice. And in much the same way my loved one spread calm to her co-worker, the best way to spread calm is through kindness. Twain said it best: 

"Kindness is a language the blind can see, and the deaf can hear."

~Mark Twain, aka Samuel Clemmons

Yes, even those blind to your personal convictions or deaf to your social media rants. I know it's so hard not to be direct and harsh when someone jabs their finger into your ear or eye with their words and opinions. But honestly, it's only a part of you, not all you are. And those words they are spewing are only a part of them,

not all they are. I bet that anxiety is more oppressive than you think. And sometimes, you just have to let go of things, because they are just too heavy. Remember, you are not what you have been, you are what you are trying to become. And so might they be.

And in the end, the only thing you can calm is yourself. 

Even in the midst of the worse storm of strife and division. You have to go inward and consult that higher self, become Patient Zero again. But don't be too hard on yourself when you slip back into anxiety or feel a great divide between yourself and another human. You'll get many opportunities to practice, I promise. I know. And in the meantime,

Smile at strangers. Because we're all in this together.

No matter how hard some people attempt to manipulate us into a more significant division, we are one species. We can choose to be the virus that creates calm or the one that creates chaos. We can judge, or we can vouch for each other. The choice is ours.

So tonight, I have chosen a red wine called, "Love Noir." It reminds me that we can love far above what we think because the characteristics of love exist in every situation. And while hatred and anger feel good for a moment, they leave a terrible aftertaste. So here's to catching some calm this weekend, and making a decision to spread it wildly next week. Cheers, Friends.