A Joyous Perspective on Self-Preservation: Who saved you from you?

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour at the Hendersons. This week, Chris and I celebrated an anniversary of sorts. Thursday marked 18 years since the day he and I moved our lives together. We didn't get 'legally' married, as we didn't think it necessary. We simple confirmed our commitment to each other and our families and got on with it. We did later get the government involved due to insurance purposes, but it didn't change anything for us on the inside or outside. As I was recounting our story to a friend this week, she commented that I really must have loved Chris to move halfway across the country from the land I grew up in just to be with him. I stopped for a moment and considered her words, and then answered, "You know, I did really love him, but Chris made me feel more than love. He helped me to really believe I deserved to be loved. He confirmed to me that I was worthy of love." And somehow,

That made me think I could actually learn to love myself.

I see now that I was on a track of self-destruction in my life, and that road could have led to the destruction of those I loved and cherished most - mainly my own children. But when Chris entered my life, he didn't just tell me he loved me, he demonstrated his love and appreciation for me. So in many ways, Chris saved me

from me. 

No, I'm not calling him 'my Savior'...

Before you go off on a tangent, I would never call any human being my personal Savior. My faith tells me there is only one of those, and His demonstration of love for me occurred through the giving of His own life. However, I would call Chris a representative of that kind of love in human form for me. One I had not crossed very often in my life, although there had been a few:

*My 2nd-grade Teacher who told me I was smarter than I thought I was, but it was also okay to fail.

*My sitter who said I was beautiful, but it was also okay not to be perfect and actually better to just feel good about myself.

*My friend's Dad who took me into their home when I couldn't live in my own house and told me I didn't actually need good parents to be a good person.

*My college roommate who told me I could do anything I wanted to, even decide not to get married if that was best.

*A best friend and co-worker who told me I was better off not working for that company, as I had better things to offer the world.

*A mother who had also lost a child who told me it was okay to cry, okay to be mad, okay to be happy and to remember I would be okay.

And many, many more...

Yes, I've been fortunate to have lots of humans who helped to save me from me.

And I realize the older I get how important it is to recognize and appreciate these human miracle workers. Who came to your mind? Have you thanked them lately, even if can only be through the utterance of a word of intention to the wind? Self-preservation and survival are really an innate quality within us all, but sometimes they get lost under mountains of abuse, hurt, mistakes and irrational behaviors. It sometimes takes another person to stop you in your path and help uncover you from the garbage to get to who you actually are inside. 

And then it grows from just surviving to thriving again.

So you can go out and do the same for others.

So tonight, Chris and I will be drinking a wine called "Saved." I'll be toasting to a relationship that saved me from me, and brought me back to a place where I could be used to provide that good message to others who might be where I once was. So here's to being reminded that we are worth saving, just like we are, right now. Cheers.