A Joyous Perspective on Father's Day: It's not the ingredients, it's what you do with them.

On this Father's Day weekend with the Hendersons, I have moved my regular Friday Night Thought Tale to a Sunday Thought Tale. As this day approached during the last week, I couldn't help but note the slight feeling of sadness in me. I also remembered the many others, who like me, are missing a Father in their life. Whether through death, estrangement or abandonment, dealing with the absence of that person who is a Father to you can be difficult. Well, difficult seems like a lame attempt at how it feels actually. I don't know that there's a word for it. Just imagine the most profound and most protracted sigh you can make and think of a word. It's just that kind of burdensome reality.

Because absent or not, their genetics went into the making of you.

And you may wish to ignore or celebrate that fact. Either way, the truth is, they only provided the ingredients for you. Ultimately, they are not entirely responsible for who you became. 

That my friend is entirely on you. Much like the recipe for your favorite dish, the ingredients do not put themselves together or fully determine the outcome. 

What you have done with the stuff your Father gave you is something to celebrate, not lament.

Those of you who are missing your wonderful Dad today can remember and recognize who you've become because they gave you those good things that make you love them so much. Take pride and gratitude for their enduring presence in you that will live long after even you are gone. And those of you who had a father who gave you not so beautiful ingredients to work with can celebrate the wonderful person you have become in spite of that.

Still, others who were rejected and left behind by your genetic father can stand tall and smile in how you didn't require their involvement to become strong and resolute regardless.

And if you are a Father today...

And you are reading this, wondering what category you fall into, take heart. As long as you still breathe, you have time to make corrections. Fatherhood is complicated because you don't always have the ultimate ability to be what you envision in the life of your child. However, you can still be aware of the ingredients you've provided in the recipe that is your offspring and do what you can to

encourage the growth of the positive ones. You can also do what you can to admit and recognize the negative ones to help heal and correct any damage done. Just never forget the importance of your role.

So now, back to the kitchen of your life...

Today, take a moment to celebrate the ingredients of you and the unique ways you've put them together. No matter your relationship status, you can be thankful for your Father, because he contributed to you. Who you ultimately become is now in your hands.  Cheers.