A Joyous Perspective on Support: The more you give, the more you get.

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. The past few months of my life have been anything but simple. Between family, work, and education, there's been little time left for me.  Whenever I find myself in that place, I begin to notice heightened anxiety and bringing me more nights when I'm awake more than I'm resting.  I start to feel like I have really put myself in the craziest position, one that no one can possibly understand, and perhaps I will fail miserably at something. Maybe it will be a relationship, or I'll miss a deadline at work, or I'll overlook an essential concept in my education.  The very worst part is that I avoid reaching out to anyone to talk about it as I don't want them to... Well, I just don't want them to anything... Fill in the blanks... Criticize me, judge me, pity me, laugh at me, be worried about me. (That last one is a big one, as only I am allowed to worry about anyone.)

It's at these times of holding on to my stress that I finally realize I need to find a way to share it.

The most beautiful thing that has happened in my life recently is that I've become a part of a Support Group, in both my work and in my education.  True, I didn't walk into either expecting to share much, but both have proven to be a mighty tool in helping me to keep my joyous perspective on life.  You see, I've re-learned something I had forgotten: Support is one of those things that we get as we reach out and give it to others.  

Anxiety is best alleviated when it is transformed into empathy. 

I've observed this happening time and again as I've been open to listening and validating others and their experiences.  It's an amazing thing to feel myself letting go of worry and pain as I hear about how another has overcome that very same combination.  And when I can pass along how I dealt with it, and verify that it did really suck, I give another person a gift that just might last a lifetime. 

So here's my challenge to you: Are you hurting? Find a Support Group.

Midlife crisis, parenting difficulties, relationship troubles, addiction, health challenges - there's something for anything that is keeping you back from becoming the person you were created to be. I know, even one more hour added to your schedule sounds horrific. But consider how much slower and distracted you are when you are carrying around unnecessary concerns.  I would wager that getting those off your chest will add back much more time than that lost hour or two. If that's not convincing enough, consider my reasons below:

A few reasons why Support Groups can help:

1) Realizing you are not alone
It’s interesting to hear people describe their first support group meeting. They will often say, “You know, until I went to the group, I thought I was the only person in the world with my problem. I was so surprised to find that everyone in the group had the same issues as me.” This realization usually brings about a feeling of relief, by gaining the understanding for perhaps the very first time in their life that others have similar concerns and are there to help and encourage you.
2) Expressing your feelings
After you realize you aren’t alone and within a safe and supportive environment, you will begin to feel comfortable sharing your feelings and life circumstances with the group. This can be a very therapeutic and healing experience.
3) Learning helpful information
Support groups offer lots of practical tips and resources for dealing with identified concerns, and members share their success stories and the strategies that helped them move forward in their lives.
4) Gaining hope
It’s very powerful when you see others in the group who are further along their parenting journey and who have made great strides toward having happier and healthier lives. 
5) Reducing distress
As you work through various issues and concerns in the group, it’s common that you will begin to notice a reduced level of overall pain and discomfort. 
6) Increased self-understanding
As you learn more effective ways to cope and handle stressful situations, you gain a better understanding of yourself, your needs, and your own unique personality. You can also gain increased insight into the factors that have contributed to your current challenges and the strategies that seem to work best for you.
7) Helping others
Just as you benefit from the group experience, you can also help other group members as you grow and make progress. You will even notice you feel better when you can help someone else.
8) Affordability
One additional advantage of support groups is they are very affordable. In fact, most groups are free, and all will typically be cheaper than individual therapy sessions. 

So if you are feeling out of sorts, remember there are all sorts of ways to ask for support. 

It can be as small as going to a meeting and saying, "Hi, my name is..." You don't have to do anything else, just be present and listen. I would love to hear what you learn. Please comment below.

Cheers.