Two Shades: Black and White... I like my romance straight up please...

This week at the Friday Night Thought Tale Hour at the Henderson's, we find ourselves on the eve of what many call a made up commercial holiday - Valentine's Day. As the day approaches, we are surrounded by suggestions and plugs for ideas to make this a romantic evening. Among them, are the many trailers for a movie based on a book that it appears many people have read (I am not among them). As I've done enough research on the themes of the book to have an understanding of what it's about, I'm pretty surprised that there isn't a feminist outrage over making a movie now about this book, promoting its masochistic views to an even wider audience.
 I shutter to think what might be going on in homes across America this weekend as some poor soul gets forced into going to see "Fifty Shades of Grey" with their S.O. Will they be able to move on Sunday morning? Will they have to feign exhaustion and fall asleep early for protection? But it will be the choice of many. And as I consider my happy and healthy 15 year relationship with Chris, I guess I just want to do a little promotion of my own this week for all you other 'black and white' kinda folks like us. I mean, perhaps those seeking so much grey have accidentally bought into the lie that black and white is boring?

But isn't a grey area a place of confusion? 

We grew up on books and movies quite different from what is presented today, and they were often based on the lives and experiences of the generation. It's not that divorce never occurred, but when it did, it was far from the norm. So let's trace this - when did our divorce rates start to climb and the incidence of single parent homes explode? I did a very light bit of research and found that in 1967, the rate of divorce rapidly began to climb. What changed? You'll never guess what movie was at the top of the charts that year... "The Graduate". Even with my intent settled upon provoking a thought for the 'old-fashioned romance', I found myself astounded. For those of you too young to know or care, "The Graduate" was the "Fifty Shades" of its day. Far from a story about black and white choices, there was quite of bit of grey in the theme and a good deal of character confusion.

'Hello, darkness my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sounds of silence. '

(From "Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkle)

It's old, but it still runs...

The themes of long lasting romance are not completely certain, but they also do not find themselves running among the blindfolded and handcuffed. Even those of us who married later in life still hope to be together until our last breath, so we are in training for the marathon. Let's be real, Benjamin and Elaine from "The Graduate" had a snowball's chance in hell of remaining together after their school bus ride. And I'd lay money on the fact that there was not a sequel to the relationship between Mr. Grey and Ms. Steele. There're some basic very important elements missing in their love life. Like a vintage and comfy sedan, a long romantic relationship is one that you always want to slip into, regardless of the trip ahead. No grey area. Just black and white. WYSIWYG.
Try these bedroom beauties out for size:

  Attraction 
                          Intimacy
                                                 Commitment 
                                                                           Companionship
NO performance expectations. The engines just got to keep running. No pain, but lots of laughter. No one large and in charge, just two people who see the other as the most important piece in the puzzle.

You can spice it up, but don't change the basis.

Yes, like my Martinis, I like my romance straight up, with the olives on the side.

It's an old school way to enjoy being in love, but it's clear and crisp and never cloudy. The only grey I like in my martini is the Goose (now there's a double entendre!). Now that's not saying that sometimes, you don't throw a little extra olive juice in the mix. Nothing wrong with a little dirty when the mood strikes. But your eyes should be wide open and not distracted whenever you add a little something extra. Who wants to taint a good vodka? Keeping it simple always ends with a kiss and a smile.  CHEERS FRIENDS!

Joy's Simply Lovely Martini**

1 1/2 oz of your favorite COLD Vodka
1/2 oz of Dry Vermouth
Crushed ice

Chill both the glasses and the shaker. Fill shaker with ice, add vodka. Add a drop of Vermouth to the glasses and swirl around. Now add the Vermouth to the shaker. Shake very hard. Strain into the glasses. Garnish with olives (I like garlic stuffed ones) or lemon twist or onions. This recipe works the same for you Gin lovers too.

**Always drink responsibly. NEVER drive after consuming alcohol.