A Joyous Perspective on Comparisons: When making them, measure wisely.

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. 
I've been thinking a lot this week about comparisons, and how they can be used multiple ways in our lives. And we have no lack of information from which to make these comparisons in our current state of instant access. We can share all of the best parts of our lives and ourselves. Some people even share the very worst things, with such regularity that we refer to it with its own anacronym: "TMI." We are provided with systems of measurement utilizing tests, surveys, and opinion polls. I find it a little concerning when I hear or see it happening in such subtlety. Measuring ourselves against the wall is a childhood right of passage that we adopt to prove we are growing. And who can help but compare that growth to the growth of your siblings or friends? This is a good comparison. Unless -

You start measuring yourself against a standard that isn't as practical as the wall with the book on your head.

The snapshot of the lives of others that we get on social media is anything but a complete picture. It's not called "Instagram" or "snapchat" or "facebook" for nothing. These were never meant to be a way to know someone enough to use them as a role model for personal measurement. And yet, I will admit, I look at these daily and sometimes find myself saying things like, "Wow, she looks good for our age." or "Dang, they've got a great relationship with their kids." And all of these statements are true and perfectly fine unless they begin to take even one ounce of personal gratitude for your life from you. That's when you're giving away something to others that they neither want nor have earned.

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown"

We all do it or have done it at some point in our lives: We compare ourselves to others and gauge where we are based on what we observe them doing. If it were merely making an observation, that would be one thing. But in comparing ourselves to others, we often end up judging ourselves. Funny, huh? Especially when we all recite how much we detest being 'judged' by others.

Comparing yourself to others will really put a damper on your ability to begin a new project or change. If you have ever noticed, it doesn’t matter how many people are on your side, cheering you on. 

If you can’t get on your own side, you never get past “go.”

The thing about comparison is that there is never a win. This is because we alter our measurement or our personal 'yardstick' so liberally. How often do we compare ourselves with someone less fortunate than us and consider ourselves blessed? More often, we compare ourselves with someone who we perceive as being, having, or doing more. And yet,

We are always becoming more. 

Who you are today is a result of the decisions you made yesterday. We are always in a state of creation. We decide, and then we decide again, and the direction is still toward expansion. It is our human nature to expand and evolve.

So, when you catch yourself comparing oneself to another, stop for a moment, and re-direct the thought. Instead of submitting to the temptation to compare yourself to someone else, ask yourself this question instead:

What are you doing today that you couldn’t have done five, three, or even one year ago? How have you stepped out in the last year that you might have found inconceivable before?

In other words: 

How have you continued to become a new and improved version of yourself?

That’s the stuff that counts. Comparing ourselves with someone else is an inaccurate and irrelevant measuring stick.

“Every block of stone has a statue inside it, and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” 

~Michelangelo

We are our block of stone. How well we do, this is our measurement. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing with their block of stone. The statue that they are liberating is one of their own intentions. How well we are doing with our own block is our business, and it's their own business too.   And we must tend to it with honor, care, compassion, praise and mostly, protectively. 

Beware of over-sharing. It's an epidemic of our time.

So tonight, we will keep our comparisons to ourselves as we drink a classic, The Stinger. It's considered to be the ideal 'nightcap' cocktail (Stinger Wiki), so someone has made a comparison to come to that conclusion. After all, comparisons are perfect for food, drink, and other inanimate objects. CHEERS, FRIENDS!

Joy's "No Comparison Stinger"***

1 1/2 oz of good Brandy
1/2 oz of White Creme de Menthe
crushed ice
Rosemary for garnish

Place all ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake hard. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with Rosemary to remind you of your good memories.

***Always drink responsibly. Never drive after drinking alcohol.