A Joyous Perspective On Peace of Mind:The pieces do matter.

It's Friday, so it must be time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour at the Hendersons. My husband accidentally knocked my wine glass, filled with a favorite, onto the floor this week. This "self-proclaimed seeker of peace" did anything but display peacefulness. I would have hoped to say, "It's not a big deal. Go grab the mop, I'll sweep up." Yes, that would have been good. But instead, I exclaimed, "How the &%$# did that happen?" 

Achieving (and keeping) peace of mind is high on my priority list, yet my choices don’t always reflect this, particularly when it pertains to my inner life and work. There are just times that more demands are placed on me, and I find myself far from a peaceful place. I realize most of these beliefs that fill my mind in these times are based on misapprehensions. Mistaken beliefs or erroneous interpretations of what is actually happening to me. It leaves one feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and frustrated. These opportunities (a kind word for SNAFU) are an excellent time to bust apart a few of these misapprehensions. And I’ve found the best way to do this is to take the time to work in a counterbalance to these peace stealers. 

*There is no room for mistakes.

It’s hard to feel peaceful if you punish yourself for making

mistakes. You may even end up avoiding risks and new experiences to escape the pain of your own self-judgment. Trying new things not only opens up avenues for you but also brings a sense of fulfillment in life. And isn't that what we hope to indicate on our epitaph?
The key is to perceive mistakes as lessons rather than failures. So after I apologized for being crazed in the broken glass incident, I had a choice. Instead of focusing on my errors, I considered to the feedback received, and the experience gained. Think about it; if you learn from mistakes, you end up a much wiser and happier person, so really, mistakes are valuable. 

Work in the room for mistakes, and some take time to consider their worth.

**Shunning negative emotions brings peace of mind.

When my mind is troubled, I often experienced bouts of anger, frustration, anxiety, and other negative emotions. And I do try hard to fight them. There are times when I can hide them under the guise of a fake smile, indulge in a lot of retail therapy, and even overate to make myself feel better. This is our attempt to get rid of these demons by any means possible. After all, that’s what you’re expected to do, right - keep your real feelings to yourself and plaster a smile on your face to appear happy and successful? 
Jung was right when he said, “What you resist, persists.”
Emotions don’t go away when we hide them. If anything, they control us even more; we just don’t realize it. Also, emotions are what make us human. Not feeling them means we’ve become robots.  Peace doesn’t come from suppressing your feelings; it comes from working through them. Work it out, then work the real feelings in.
Work in ways to work through negative emotions.

***I need to hold on to my past and think about the future.

No, you really don’t! We can experience peace of mind only in the here and in the now. I live in the present, and this is where I find my peace. This is where the answers to all my pressing questions are. If I keep going back to the choices I made in the past, I will never be able to move on. See above, learn and move on. I believe that I made progress because I chose to let go of my past decisions and lifestyle, and opted to live the life I thought I deserved. I consciously became more concerned with what I was achieving in my present. Holding

on to your past will only allow it to control your present. 
Thinking about the future, on the other hand, will lead you to daydream and imagine potential outcomes, which you may believe to be far worse than the reality. So pondering too much over what’s to come won’t help much either. Life always happens in the present, and it’s only by truly experiencing it that we can find peace of mind.
Work in time to ground yourself, and to be where you are.

****I need to be or feel a certain way.

There was a time when I thought I needed to be visibly successful to gain approval from certain people around me, but all that did was make me unhappy. I was always too preoccupied with trying to receive support from these folk. The truth is, you really don’t need to be anyone other than yourself or do anything you don’t want to do. That statement works backward too.
Accepting ourselves can be immeasurably liberating. It does not mean we shirk accountability, but instead, we take responsibility to align with our personal values - not the values or rules of others. When we accept ourselves and our values and build our lives around what’s actually important to us, peace inevitably follows.
Work in demonstrating you value yourself.

Achieving peace of mind is a gradual and a continuous process, and it’s not just about knowing what to do, but also understanding what not to do. Start with busting these misconceptions and work into your life the ways to overshadow each one. It's not easy, and I do not mean to downplay it in any way. But if you can make it your intention, you’ll feel lighter. Your mind will be peaceful more often. 

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."

~Confucius

So tonight, Chris and I will be opening a bottle of red called "Complicated," because Confucius knows what he's talking about. We will toast to broken glasses and spilled wine that really did not warrant losing our peace and be present in this moment that demonstrates our fortuity. Cheers, Friends.