A Joyous Perspective on Celebrating Success: You'll never shine if you don't glow.

This week at the Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Henderson's, I want to share some asides I've gathered while thinking about what it means to be the best. Not just the winner or achiever of recognized glory predesignated by another. But the best version of you. Breaking through every obstacle and shining through every dark moment. Being able to take a great big breath in and say, "Damn, I feel good about....Geez Louise, everything." And you know what I immediately found myself wrestling with? This: The worry that others might feel diminished if I shared those good feelings. And wondering if self-celebration is perceived as shameless arrogance.

“Look at her, who does she think she is?”

“He’s so full of himself. He’s so big-headed.”

Have you ever heard these types of expressions used? Have you said them yourself?

I have.

Where does this come from? It seems there is a

commonly held belief that people who shine the light of a good feeling are showing off. That they are brazen and big-headed. But what does being full of yourself mean? Seriously, what does it mean? Is it the definition of cocky, or could it merely be having confidence in who you are?

Is it arrogant, or might it just be saying no to playing small?

In plain terms, being full of yourself is to be brimming over with who you are. How utterly incredible is that? To be full of who you are. Not empty. Not lacking. Full. That doesn't sound like a wrong place to be. Why do we believe that celebrating our greatness is something we should scorn and avoid? Are we supposed to walk some middle line in life?

When do we ever walk through a garden of gorgeous flowers and wish that they were less vibrant? Less alive? We don’t. We marvel at their utter beauty and majestic glory. We don’t ask them to diminish their splendor. We simply invite them to be all that they are. And yet, we humans worry that if we let all of our colors blaze brightly, we’ll be perceived as being “too much.” We end up trying to throw shade on our most vibrant parts to blend in. Are we happy walking between shine and shame? When we purposely set out to dilute who we are, we deny ourselves our birthright to live in full bloom.

I was reminded of the song "All-Star" by Smashmouth.

It's been a while since I heard it, and it's one of those songs that the kids and I used to sing out loud in the car whenever it came on the radio:

"So much to do, so much to see

So what's wrong with taking the back streets?

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow."

 -(From 'All-Star' by Smashmouth)

If we place ourselves in the shadows, then we not only prevent our pure light from radiating out, but we’re also left feeling a little envy of those that are basking in their fabulous glow, seemingly unconcerned with how it appears to us.

"And all that glitters is gold

Only shooting stars break the mold."

 -(From 'All-Star' by Smashmouth)

Being shiny is a choice, and so is how 

others handle your brilliance.

I think part of the confusion comes from a desire to foster humility and kindness in our lives. There is nothing more lovely than a shiny person who walks with quiet confidence. But you have to start with the glow of celebrating the light within you. It's a choice and a learning process.

And only you can start it. 

Think about the last time someone commented on a shiny part of you. What did you do? Did you put your head down and shrug, shyly saying "Thanks"? Remember, it's not for nothing that people are noticing your light. Why not just open to them and go full spotlight, sending back love and warmth back to them? 

Light up your life. Because otherwise all those lights

you possess will lose their will to shine, and you’ll be fumbling around in the dark trying to find a torch. And that’s not the process we’re going for here. We are looking finding our best self and encouraging others to find theirs.

Shine your light like only you can. And don’t apologize for it. The world does not benefit from you living in the shadows. The world does not help from you wasting your energy on envy or fear of looking haughty. And the world most certainly does not get anything from you living with a wince and anxiety. It benefits from your incredible, distinctive contribution, so go ahead, be full of yourself and be yourself fully.

"The ice we skate is getting pretty thin

The water's getting warm so you might as well swim

My worlds on fire. How about yours?

That's the way I like it, and I'll never get bored."

 (From 'All-Star' by Smashmouth)

So tonight, we will be drinking something I call "Nothing if not shiny." Here's to being a light that encourages others to glow, shine, and yes, combust with their beautiful and unique colors. CHEERS, FRIENDS!
To support my friend Ray, a true "All-Star", click here: Support Ray

Joy's "Nothing if not shiny" Cocktail**

1 oz of Pinnacle Puffed Marshmellow Vodka
1 oz of Goldschlager
Prosecco Zonin 
Star Fruit for garnish

In a Champagne flute, pour vodka and Goldschlager. Fill will Prosecco. Garnish with Star Fruit. It's a keeper.

**Always drink responsibly. Never drive after drinking alcohol.