A Joyous Perspective on Times of Terror: Resisting the urge to live in fear.

It's time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Henderson's. Over the past few weeks, there have been some very disconcerting and tragic events in the world.  While 'terrorism' has never really left us - we do become somewhat lulled into thinking it won't touch us personally. It seems to have become the elephant in the room lately.  Many are whispering in our ears about how another big event is 'eminent.' After having a fitful night's sleep because I allowed myself to listen to Ted Koppel talk about how the power grid could be taken down, I looked at Chris and sighed, "How can we protect our children and grandchildren?". He quietly said, "But we don't have kids that live in fear. They travel, they live in big cities, they don't watch the news." At that moment, I realized he was right. You can't 'protect' someone who doesn't need it. It will be a senseless act and a little selfish.

What I needed was to protect my mind and spirit from the byproduct of 'terrorism', and that is, being terrorized by fear.

In a month, I will turn 56. And one thing that I can say

Feeling 'in the pink.'

about my 55th year is that I have used it to improve some areas of my life that needed attention. I have learned more about the importance of each day and treating each one as an extensive opportunity to do good for myself and those around me than ever before. Being focused on fear and anxiety over those hellbent on destruction doesn't fit into the equation of a living an accomplished life. Yes, but it's easier to type than to do it right? So this week, I set down and came up with a few asides that I hope will bring you the same kind of notion of calm that they did for me. If you are a parent or grandparent, your children will probably thank me :).

1) Looking like a scared rabbit makes you a good target for a rabid dog. Breathe.

Walk confidently you peaceful citizens of the world. You may not carry a weapon that can kill or maim, but you can still demonstrate strength. Especially when you are in the company of those who are part of a culture or group associated with terrorism. Be kind, be direct and look people in the eye. Mostly, remember that there are those who might just be afraid of you and what your kind has meted out to them. 

2) There is strength in numbers, especially when the numbers are unified.

I am sickened by the acts of the past few weeks, but one thing being attacked does for those being victimized is that it pulls us together. We all need to remember that we are not only a world made up of continents and differences - we are a world of humanity sharing daily cares. In a strange way, the Terrorists are demonstrating what is accomplished when a relatively small band pulls together. Let's be that same kind of force, but for good and peace. 

3) Preparation isn't a sign of fear; it's a sign that you are prepared and ready. Be aware. Have a plan.

Listening to Koppel talk about the power grid going down did give me anxiety, but it also caused me to consider whether we are prepared. It's not instilling fear in my children and grandchildren to tell them of a few precautions we have now taken, or to have a plan for how we might communicate in such an event. That certain air of confidence is bolstered when we make preparations and feel a little more ready.

4) Watch what you watch and what you fill your mind with. See the warnings as good information, not paralyzing gossip.

Don't be a sheep.

I like to listen to iHeart Radio during the night. It's been something I've done for many years. I go back to the days of Larry King, midnight to 6. But lately, I've had to modify my Talk Radio choices and even some of my News Channels. The constant droning of speculations, dimestore details, and presumption becomes a feeding tube into my deepest dread. It could deaden me if allowed. We can find ourselves following the beat of a drummer headed toward doom, hatred, and separation. I still thrive on being in the know, but I am careful to monitor my psyche whenever I am listening to reports about terrorism. As I learned this week, this is particularly vital when I am falling to sleep, and my mind is open.

5) You cannot ever allow terror to stop you from going to where you need to be.We give Terrorists what they want when we act fearfully and live tentatively. 

I have learned so much from being a parent. And I am especially fortunate to have children who are wise beyond their years and continue to teach me in many ways. One thing that I have grown to appreciate is the way they live their lives exactly in the way they believe they need to,  regardless of obstacles. The only reason they would change a course would be if it were to the detriment of another human. It's not always easy to watch as their parent, but I know in my soul that following the course of your calling is the most important thing a human must do. 

Seth, on the day he died.

When we lost our oldest son, Seth, while he was training for deployment in Germany, it was the most devastating thing I have ever experienced. But in the cloud of grief that surrounded in the early days afterward, a piercing light of truth helped to guide me in the darkness: He was doing exactly what he loved and wanted to do. He was excited about his future and where he was going. In the field, with his team, believing in the mission of his life. He did not allow the prospect of death or destruction defer him, and when it came, I'm sure he was surprised, but I know he was ready. And best of all - at the high point of his years. I now endeavor to assure this is true for me and those I am called to support in life.

If this is my last day, let it be my best.

These times and tensions are overtly frustrating to us all. The disregard for human life, the politics of justification for war, the demonization of people for a religious difference - but are the times worse or just more publicized? If we lived in the times of the Crusades or the Salem Witch Trials, would we be feeling much the same? I think that in conclusion, I wish to be among those who were not found to be on a 'side'. Instead, I want to be considered to be a real human who didn't band with the mob, tremble in fear, or go

out in a blaze of glorified gore. I hope to be everything I was created to be at that moment in time. I won't lay down for terror to tread on me, but I refuse to become a part of it either.

Tonight, we are going to somberly toast to the many lives lost in the past few weeks, and the friends and families they leave behind. We are drinking a lovely little thing called 'Angel's Kiss,' as we stand for them and the courage to continue fighting against fear and dread. May we all remember them in our thoughts and prayers this season. CHEERS FRIENDS!

Joy's Angel's Kiss Cocktail**

2 oz. of Rum Chata
1/2 cup of coffee (strong is best)
1oz. of Frangelico
A bit of cream

Pour coffee in a cup. Then add Frangelico to layer on top. Next add Rum Chata, then add a bit of cream. This is a great sipper.

**Always drink responsibly. Never drive after drinking.