A Joyous Perspective on Keeping Touch: With What Counts.

It's another end of a week and time for the Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. It's been an intense one for me, filled with moments of challenge, struggle and of course, pure joy. Today as I considered what I wanted to share with you all about what a joyous perspective has given to me amidst this intensity, it really came down to learning something new about keeping touch. Much more than about keeping 'in' touch, which can be just surface stuff. This is more about a deeper, profound connection to things that are real to your life. The important things that will last beyond your time here.

Three touchstones that we should practice.

I narrowed mine down to three, but you might have more. They all just happened to come out of my week which means I've got living evidence of why they are real to me. And it all starts with a thing called 'Friendship.' 

1) Keep the ones who heard you when you never said a word.

Earlier this year, when I realized I'd be back in my hometown of Visalia California in May, I thought it would be great to see a few

friends. But when you know you will have a very short window of time, and you haven't been there for 8 years, you have to really consider who you will spend that time with. I thought back over my life, and all of my adventures in my formative years there in the Central Valley. I formed a list of three people who I knew would be in the area and who stood out to me in my life experiences. I don't think that any of them would have considered me to be their lifelong bestie, and I would not have tagged them that way either. But there were many things about each of them that were extremely special to my life. 

In short periods, and even now, they stood with me, and I with them, during challenges and also in exuberance. I was thrilled when they all were able to come and spend just a couple of hours with me, laughing, dishing, and reminiscing on our times together. When I left, I thought of that quote from above, and it fit each of these women for me in my life. That is why I've kept them, and why keeping touch with them will be something I will always do. 

Who are your priceless friends? When did you last make touch with them?

2) Do things that matter.

For the last eight years, my family and I have given out a Scholarship award in honor of my son, Seth, who died in April 2008. It's always in early May, and every year, I've considered

going to present the award. And every year there's been a reason why I couldn't. Often, it was just because it felt too hard, emotionally and physically to stand in front of a group and talk about Seth, his loss, his memory, and give the award. There was also the time it would take from work and family obligations at home to travel out to California for a trip to the Valley. But this year, something shifted in me. I knew I needed to get a personal sense of this award, and why it was so important to me. And so I made a way to be there. Because I realized it mattered.

It mattered that the people at the school and the community heard from me, his Mother, why this award was created for Seth. It wasn't to remember how and why he died, which is what many might think as he was serving in the military. It wasn't called the "Pioneer Achievement Award" only because of the Mascot name (Pioneers). We wanted a way to celebrate and recognize how Seth LIVED. And as I wrote out what I would say to the crowd gathered there, I felt I had renewed my touch on what motivates me about this award. Seth's life exemplified the Pioneer Spirit because it was all about the journey, not the destination. 

What important projects are you a part of that you might have lost touch with the reason why you do them?

3) Indulge in aimless thoughts or dreamy imagining. 

Gather some wool.

I have a life that is full of heavy thinking and even some heavy lifting. Some days, other than a couple of minutes of Yoga, I don't think my mind and its thoughts stop until I fall asleep. And even after that, it takes a few moments to let go of what I have planned for the following day. My thoughts all have a purpose, and they are

well founded in reasoning. That is how I stay on top, or at least have the appearance of treading water without drowning. You know what? The reason I do it is there will come a time when I get to harvest all that hard work and go have a little fun. I found a quote today that referenced the act of Wool gathering as indulging in a little aimless thinking and dreamy imagining. 

So I took my little grandsons off to Balboa Island, where we rode the Ferry (twice) and the Ferris Wheel (twice) and spent $40 to get a plastic toy that will last a few hours. And the entire time, I absorbed myself in their view of what was around me. I got my touch back on unfettered fun. Isn't that the lovely gift children can give us? They haven't  the learned skills of planning, charting and execution of goals. They have but one goal: Find the next source of fun. 

When was the last time you had touch with one unplanned 

day of finding the next source of fun?

So tonight, I will be toasting to keeping touch with what counts with two adorable little men. We will be having homemade cookies and organic milk. I'll hear the name "Gramma" roared numerous times, and smile inside, knowing I've got a touch on everything that counts to me. Cheers.