A Joyous Perspective on Returning to Normal: What do you want to take with you?

It's Friday, and time for another Friday Night Thought Tale Hour with the Hendersons. Today marks exactly five months since the Governor of our state announced a 'temporary' quarantine. Schools closed, restaurants went dark even for takeout and we were asked to stay home for at least 2 weeks while we flattened the curve.  Then 2 weeks became a month, and a month became 3 months, and so on. What we initially viewed as a break has become a way of life. We've rolled with the punches for the most part. But in other parts, we've found ourselves having things pulled from our hands forcefully, and that's not exactly a great feeling, is it?

I wonder if that's because we saw some of these things as a part of our identity, not just an activity?

I've come to realize that there is a big difference between action and activity. Action is directed, and it supports values and beliefs. It has a purpose and also is intended to be lasting. Activity on the other hand is just busy stuff. A movement that fills our time. It finds it's basis more in a whim or a feeling, and often, it will have an end, and just be a memory.

My activities do not define me, they just keep me busy.

I didn't realize that so much until the passing of the first month of quarantine. When the activities where limited, I had a lot more time to look at actions. For instance,  I realized that I was not spending so much activity time in the car. All those hours I now had to do something more lasting, more vital, and more supportive of my values. And now, when I think of things going 'back to normal', I know that mindless activities like unnecessary driving are the kinds of things I will try to do without.

When we get a chance to take a step away, we have more time to go inward, and see the things we want to keep, and what we want to give away. 

These events, these circumstances, are just temporary. Whether by the passing of time or the expression of action, they will soon be gone. 

"Where you are is not who you are. Yours truly, Circumstances." ~Me

Circumstances are not 'life sentences,' they are punctuation marks. Our circumstances are like a comma or a semi-colon, or even an exclamation point,  placed in our lives due to a change of some direction. They are intentioned to get our attention, and they will whether we like it or not. The key, as always, is how we respond. Do we roll up into a ball and wait for the storm to pass? Do we tense up our shoulders and grit our teeth?

Or, do we acknowledge them, deal with them, and wave goodbye?

It is more about learning how not to fight against the flow. To learn how to embrace the fluidity of life. I believe this is what Lao Tzu meant by his words. “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” 

The illusion of “I am that” holds many of us captive in prisons of our own making. 

In the struggle to define ourselves as individuals, we often paint ourselves into lonely and sometimes dangerous corners. This time of quarantine seems to have increased this willfulness to be defined. Whether gender, sexual orientation, politics, religion, race: Although we may belong to a particular group, it is the over-identification with that group that separates us from the next individual. 

It seems we become stunted in growth when we cling to these outward labels. 

I have noted this fact more than anything during this time of being able to observe much more than be in the middle of things. Our titles, our affiliations, and even our closest relationships don’t define the cores of who we are. They don't support our values. Consider how thinking “I am that” leads to stagnation in your identity. How it traps you in expectations. How it blocks your journey to wholeness. 

And that is the one striking thing the quarantine has brought us: A common experience. We often fail to remember that our commonality is the only identification that matters. It is what binds us together when the world wants to pull us apart. When you strip away all of the activity, it is you that is left with what really matters to you. We are all in the same flow, why scratch at each other or pull each other under?

I don't want to take all of this labeling with me into the future normal.

• We don't have to agree with each other to respect each other. 
• We don't have to have the same actions to be working toward the same goal. 
• Our values can be the same, but they can be stated differently. 
• While I love typing out my thoughts without the benefit of your immediate ability to reply, I still enjoy a good verbal conversation most of all.

These are the things I am taking with me. How about you?

Cheers.