A Joyous Perspective on 2020: 10 Things the Year Has Taught us about Unexpected Twists.

 

As we near the end of 2020, I see a different person in the mirror.

Not only have I gotten older, a little fatter in places I've sat on more this year, and Zoom proficient, but my mind has changed a lot too. I look back at that person who was celebrating her 60th birthday on January 1, and I want to tell her, "Hey, you're never going to believe what's in store for this year." I would not have believed whatever that person would have tried to tell me. It would have just been too farcical. The term 'plot twist' took on a whole new meaning for nearly every person I know. Think about it. Have you ever experienced another year of life where EVERYONE, regardless of age, race, sex, culture, or class status, would be impacted somehow by the same thing? 

I mean, it's not like we haven't been through other crises or even pandemics.

But this one seemed to hit everyone in some way, from our loftiest leaders to the least of those we lived amongst. It did try to give us a warning in January and February to be fair to the year. There was craziness in our political system.  Locusts invaded Africa.  A volcano erupted in the Philipines. Australia caught on fire, like all of it. An iconic sports figure died just doing what we got used to people like him doing all the time, taking a helicopter to an event. Oh, and we heard about something called the Corona Virus. But it was in China, and that was far away, so not to worry. We missed the signs of a plot twist on the approach. 

We were too busy just living life and making plans. 

There's nothing to feel sorry for about not being prepared for the twist. People who sit around and are overprepared for impending doom are not usually the most secure and calm types, so we avoid that mindset. Even those of us who listen to late-night conspiracy theory radio shows just figured it was a fluke that all this stuff was happening all at once. Although looking back, there was more than one prediction of 2020 being a year of turmoil. But I digress. The point I wanted to share in this blog is that this wild year, which snuck up on us while we were busy making plans, has given us some rich lessons. So rich, in fact, that they might take us a bit to fully digest. 

But I figure with one week left, why not start now? So here goes...

If you are reading this, then you've gotten through most of the year. It's day 361, with 5 days left. (Yeah, that's right, it was a Leap Year, so there are 366 days in this exceptional year. It figures.) How did you get through it? This was one of those years that even the most aloof people couldn't avoid some kind of twist to their lives. Well, for me, there were 10 things that I both learned or realized their vital importance in my life this year. 10 ways that I learned to deal with the near-weekly plot twists I encountered along with you as I attempted to make plans and accomplish them. 

Things I've learned this year about how to get through the unexpected twist:

1) Take a beat: 

Remember what they tell you to do if you catch on fire? STOP, drop and roll with it. Plot twists feel like your life is suddenly on fire, and you feel like your head might explode. Don't give in to panic and run down the road screaming. Take a moment. Breathe.

2) If you're afraid or anxious, recognize it, and decide to exchange it.

Do you know how many times the Bible tells us to not be afraid or fear? 365.  Do you think it's a coincidence that there are that many days in the normal year? I don't. Fear or it's close friend, anxiety, are the biggest traps and cages that keep people from living full lives. It prevents us from loving, from saying something, from doing so many vitally significant things. But ignoring it will not get rid of it. It's like a nasty virus that will only grow unless addressed. So take a solid look at what you are afraid of, what is underlying your fear, and then decide not to let it dictate how you will respond to your plot twist.

3) Get self-aware, like really.

We really think we know ourselves until something happens that we didn't expect. Then we see this person that can't handle change, truth, or pressure. These are the moments when we really need to take the time to be present and fully aware. Don't miss the chance. It's 10 minutes of thought that could provide you with 10 years of knowledge.

4) Decide where this or that sits on your list of priorities.

How important is this really in the grand scheme of things? When you look back in 5 years, will you even remember that it was changed or canceled? Secretly, are you kind of happy you don't have to go through the extra effort of doing that thing, and you can just say, 'maybe another time'? Be honest and decide.

5) Take time to consider a plan B.

If it is something you will look back and regret canceling, then let's look at Plan B. One of my favorite motto signs, given to me by one of my wisest and dearest friends, says, "Life is all about how you handle Plan B." It's just above my desk. Plot twists call upon our creative natures to figure out a solution. I saw a lot of this during this year, and I did a lot of it. It was good for me, was it for you?

6) Calculate your disappointment.

Disappointment is a big deal, and it can really weigh on our souls if we don't admit and process it. Take time to heal and accept the sadness of the plot twist. It's okay to be not okay. Another good motto I'll take forward with me. 

7) Decide to move forward.

An old tome often cited in Protestant circles, "A Pilgrim's Process," depicts a place called 'the pond of despond.' It's a place of sadness, disappointment, bitterness, and grief that sucks people in and keeps them from moving forward in their path. 2020 was full of ponds of despondency for many of us, and no one would give us trouble about sitting in them for a while. Some people lost jobs, homes, businesses, and loved ones. The only way to get up and out of the pond is to decide it's time. Extend a hand, grab a branch, cry out - whatever it takes - but you gotta decide to move forward. No one can do it for you.

8) Be grateful.

This year's plot twists, no matter how wild, have made me stop and consider all that I have to be grateful for. I've always touted the truth that there is someone worse off than you are right now, but this year has driven the point home. We can't go out to dinner, or we can fly to see our kids, or we can have a party... Geez, at least we can even consider having the means to do these things. Plot twists call upon us to consider gratitude and hold onto it so we don't become petty.

9) Learn something new about expectations.

From one planner to others, I have learned that my expectations can be the biggest satisfaction killer of all. We make plans with outcomes in mind; this is true and necessary. But what is completely unnecessary is to place gargantuan expectations upon those goals. I've learned to set a goal and be reasonable about my expectations for all the ways the goal will evolve. How will it make others feel or react is not within my control. Getting caught up in expectations leads to disappointment and despondency, which we want to avoid. I've learned to lower my expectations and focus instead on the most significant aspects of my desired outcomes. It makes me a lot easier to live with.

10) Clap for yourself and others involved.

When you come to the other side of a plot twist, don't just let that pass. Cheer for yourself and all the others involved. Declare victory for your badass selves. The world might just yawn and say, 'so what?' but you don't have to. Recognize the effort it took to get through and give yourself a reward. Smile and give yourself a hug.

While some of my more laid back and procrastinating co-humans were hoping otherwise, I still believe you have got to make plans. 

But you can be more flexible, and that is something I learned over and over this year. My 'word' for 2020 was "Magnify." I chose it because I thought this year would be the year I put many of my previous life experiences to use and implore some magnification. Looking at the list above, I can see that this year handed me a microscope and told me to focus on the small things. It would be in the small things that I would learn the largest lessons this year. Small, almost as tiny as the virus that threw the entire world into a tizzy. So let's keep making plans and take with us all that we've learned about changing them.